Summer is over. I just dropped the kids off at school which means today is Roo's first day of kindergarten.
I wish my gut was not screaming at me, but this just feels so wrong. I feel in every bone of my body that Roo should not be there. I do think Bean will have another great year and everything feels mostly right about her not staying home with me. As much as I also want to homeschool her, I don't have that same urgency prompting me to keep her close at the moment.
I am trying to celebrate the small good things that come out of being a mom with just one kid around. My house will stay cleaner, I can have one on one time with Boo, learn to make homemade bread and step up the quality of other homemade goods, do more with my doula business, and generally bless my home a bit more.
Oh yeah, and I guess I can start writing in my blog again!
Monday, August 25, 2008
Sunday, June 22, 2008
High School Musical on Review
This weekend my daughter and I are visiting my grandmother who lives in Virginia. Basically since she is 90 years old we have just decided that the best way to get in a good visit is to bring one kiddo at a time and try to just have a low key weekend. So in that vein, Nana thought it would be fun to rent a movie and eat ice cream. Now, we don't really watch TV and Bean has certainly not watched a lot of movies, but she did think she might want to see High School Muscial 2.
With mixed emotions and trepidation I allowed her to rent the movie, this probably occuring not out of the generosity of my heart but b/c everything else that looked remotely watchable seemed to have already been checked out.
First of all, I have to join every pubescent girl in saying, well, that Zac Efron is a mighty attractive fellow. Second of all, I now have several High School musical tunes seriously stuck in my head, and I do feel a bit like dancing. Pretty catchy stuff really. But I still have mixed feelings on the approprietness of a 7 year old watching the film.
Starting with the good stuff, beyond Efron's blue eyes of course:
*no bad language, one use of the word stupid though which is considered off limits at our house
*pretty good morals taught, ie be true to your friends, be kind to others, keep your word
*teens are seen as going to their parents for advice
*while the clothes worn are not as modest as I would prefer, the girls for the most part are not dressed like hoochie mamas
*three super short kisses and no sexual allusions in the slightest
*fun dancing without sexualization
The bad stuff:
*romance theme is not necessary for 7 year olds (actually I should write this about 50 times b/c it is my biggy, why would a 1st grader need to be watching anything about high schoolers and romance?)
*overally made up females dressed in a very trendy way which I don't want wish my daughter to asprire to
*my own slightly bizarre distrust of anything too mainstream (if I had a smiley icon I would enter it here as I am making fun of myself)
It seems as I type this out that I should probably not add letting my daugher watch High School Musical to my bad parenting list. We ate some ice cream, hung out with Nana, and will probably be singing together the next few days. Thankfully it is just me at the moment that has a small crush on Efron, but all the same, I will not be rushing out to get High School Musical 3 should that movie get made.
With mixed emotions and trepidation I allowed her to rent the movie, this probably occuring not out of the generosity of my heart but b/c everything else that looked remotely watchable seemed to have already been checked out.
First of all, I have to join every pubescent girl in saying, well, that Zac Efron is a mighty attractive fellow. Second of all, I now have several High School musical tunes seriously stuck in my head, and I do feel a bit like dancing. Pretty catchy stuff really. But I still have mixed feelings on the approprietness of a 7 year old watching the film.
Starting with the good stuff, beyond Efron's blue eyes of course:
*no bad language, one use of the word stupid though which is considered off limits at our house
*pretty good morals taught, ie be true to your friends, be kind to others, keep your word
*teens are seen as going to their parents for advice
*while the clothes worn are not as modest as I would prefer, the girls for the most part are not dressed like hoochie mamas
*three super short kisses and no sexual allusions in the slightest
*fun dancing without sexualization
The bad stuff:
*romance theme is not necessary for 7 year olds (actually I should write this about 50 times b/c it is my biggy, why would a 1st grader need to be watching anything about high schoolers and romance?)
*overally made up females dressed in a very trendy way which I don't want wish my daughter to asprire to
*my own slightly bizarre distrust of anything too mainstream (if I had a smiley icon I would enter it here as I am making fun of myself)
It seems as I type this out that I should probably not add letting my daugher watch High School Musical to my bad parenting list. We ate some ice cream, hung out with Nana, and will probably be singing together the next few days. Thankfully it is just me at the moment that has a small crush on Efron, but all the same, I will not be rushing out to get High School Musical 3 should that movie get made.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Me, the farmer
Here are some pics of me making my new organic garden and what the final garden looks like. I have no idea if it will actually produce anything, but I am quite proud of myself for being able to make it! My smallest child has already picked a lot of the basil but I hoping it is hardy enough to survive a toddler.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Boys rock!
I don't give parenting advice, those of you who know me and my children can probably understand why!
However, if I were to give parenting advice, here is my best gem for parents of boys:
NEVER take parenting advice from someone who doesn't have boys.
Stand there and listen and smile politely, but in your mind picture yourself holding your fingers in your ears and repeating "I can't hear you, I can't hear you."
Then go give your boy(s) a big 'ole mama hug. Boys are messy and boys like to pretend to shot things and sometimes they use tools when and where they shouldn't (at least one of mine does!). But they are some kind of cute and some kind of sweet and it is OK that they don't always act like girls. Boys rock!
However, if I were to give parenting advice, here is my best gem for parents of boys:
NEVER take parenting advice from someone who doesn't have boys.
Stand there and listen and smile politely, but in your mind picture yourself holding your fingers in your ears and repeating "I can't hear you, I can't hear you."
Then go give your boy(s) a big 'ole mama hug. Boys are messy and boys like to pretend to shot things and sometimes they use tools when and where they shouldn't (at least one of mine does!). But they are some kind of cute and some kind of sweet and it is OK that they don't always act like girls. Boys rock!
Friday, May 9, 2008
Feeling nostalgic
I saw another child born into the world this week. Each time is so amazing. I came home that night and lay in bed and snuggled with my now rather big Roo and soaked up his still sweet smelling 5 year old scent. How blessed I am to be a part of these little peoples' life. From the newest baby held in my arms, to the big kid taking up most of my bed, it is such an awesome priviledge.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Yarnharlot on children
I did not write this commentary, though I agree whole heartedly. This note appeared at the Yarnharlots's blog (which I had never heard of before!) and was forwarded to me by a friend. I liked what Yarnharlot, whomever she may be, wrote so much I am going to quote her here:
Yarnharlot said:
I believe that children are people. I believe that as people, they have a right to be anywhere that people have a right to be. I also believe that some babies/children/mothers are inseparable and that that is how it should be for them. We've got the only culture on earth - or in the history of humans that actually segregates adults and children, and it's really hard on those of us who have little children who feel in their bones that they should be with their mothers. These mothers then have to choose between meeting the needs of their kids, or missing everything for years and years, and I think that really sucks, and discourages mothers from doing what is right for their particular little one. If a kid isn't ready to be without their mother (or the other way around) and there is an ever increasing list of places that babies/toddlers/children aren't welcome...then what's a woman to do....curtail every aspect of her life for years?
That said, I also think that children disrupting something is pretty sucky too. I've been at movies or plays or something like that where a child wasn't happy and nine times out of ten, the mum high-tailed it out or went to the back as soon as she realized that her kid wasn't into the scene. The tenth time, maybe she didn't, but I still cut her some slack because I understand that it might be the only time she's left the house in two weeks, and leaving the house is really hard, and maybe the only thing standing between her and taking up chewing on sticks from the park as a hobby, and because maybe the first step toward decent child care, maternity leave and ethical treatment of parents and families is actually accepting THAT CHILDREN EXIST and are so far, the only way we have found (despite them being loud, dirty and occasionally too damp for my personal taste) to continue the species.
Saying babies/toddlers/children are welcome as they need to be, however, does mean that every once in a while there is going to be a happy kid who makes too much noise or a mum who fails to recognize that her child is being disruptive (seriously, it's like becoming snow-blind. Mothers can't always see it - I assure you that getting 3 hours of broken sleep a night can mess with your judgement.) or there might even be an unhappy kid who was predicted to do well and doesn't, and instead uses the time to finely hone their impression of demon spawn, and those kids are going to be a pain in the arse....Just like some other people we are all going to meet in our day (I am keeping a list) that are a pain in the arse that we don't have the right to get rid of either. I know these occasionally loud kids are going to get on your nerves, and sometimes mine too, but I'm begging, on behalf of mothers everywhere, to approach these baby/toddler friendly events with a little tolerance and gentleness for these inexperienced little people and those who are trying to both have a life, and keep the peace.
Yarnharlot said:
I believe that children are people. I believe that as people, they have a right to be anywhere that people have a right to be. I also believe that some babies/children/mothers are inseparable and that that is how it should be for them. We've got the only culture on earth - or in the history of humans that actually segregates adults and children, and it's really hard on those of us who have little children who feel in their bones that they should be with their mothers. These mothers then have to choose between meeting the needs of their kids, or missing everything for years and years, and I think that really sucks, and discourages mothers from doing what is right for their particular little one. If a kid isn't ready to be without their mother (or the other way around) and there is an ever increasing list of places that babies/toddlers/children aren't welcome...then what's a woman to do....curtail every aspect of her life for years?
That said, I also think that children disrupting something is pretty sucky too. I've been at movies or plays or something like that where a child wasn't happy and nine times out of ten, the mum high-tailed it out or went to the back as soon as she realized that her kid wasn't into the scene. The tenth time, maybe she didn't, but I still cut her some slack because I understand that it might be the only time she's left the house in two weeks, and leaving the house is really hard, and maybe the only thing standing between her and taking up chewing on sticks from the park as a hobby, and because maybe the first step toward decent child care, maternity leave and ethical treatment of parents and families is actually accepting THAT CHILDREN EXIST and are so far, the only way we have found (despite them being loud, dirty and occasionally too damp for my personal taste) to continue the species.
Saying babies/toddlers/children are welcome as they need to be, however, does mean that every once in a while there is going to be a happy kid who makes too much noise or a mum who fails to recognize that her child is being disruptive (seriously, it's like becoming snow-blind. Mothers can't always see it - I assure you that getting 3 hours of broken sleep a night can mess with your judgement.) or there might even be an unhappy kid who was predicted to do well and doesn't, and instead uses the time to finely hone their impression of demon spawn, and those kids are going to be a pain in the arse....Just like some other people we are all going to meet in our day (I am keeping a list) that are a pain in the arse that we don't have the right to get rid of either. I know these occasionally loud kids are going to get on your nerves, and sometimes mine too, but I'm begging, on behalf of mothers everywhere, to approach these baby/toddler friendly events with a little tolerance and gentleness for these inexperienced little people and those who are trying to both have a life, and keep the peace.
Friday, April 25, 2008
The Crazy Family
We are officially the "crazy" family at our daughter's elementary school. I am sure this won't surprise that many of you, but I guess we didn't stand out there until recently. Or maybe we did and I just didn't realize it until now.
So every year the school, like schools acorss America, has a field day where the kids get to play all kinds of fun games outside. I loved field day as a child and I love watching my daughter do field day now. This is no knock on field day. At Bean's school everyone also orders t-shirts to commemorate the event in colors that correspond with each child's grade. Everyone wears them on the day and the school looks like a floating sea of purple, red, green etc. as each grade moves from event to event.
Last year I did not order Bean one. We did not need a t-shirt, I thought it was a bit of a waste and threw the form in the recyling bin. No one from the school said anything but on the day of the event Bean was given one b/c apparently not having a t-shirt is not OK. This year I did not order one either. But this year I got a very kind email from the room mom expressing how concerned she was that Bean might be the only one in the school without a t-shirt. At this point I asked Bean if she wanted a t-shirt. I would hate to give my daughter a complex she will have to pay to see a therapist for when she is an adult. Bean did not want a t-shirt, and making me proud, she said she would just recylcle last year's shirt insteading of wasting the earth's resources.
Another email was exchanged once again encouraging the purchase of a t-shirt. At some point in the various email exchanges I am told the color is purple. Upon learning the shirt was purple I knew Bean would want it. Purple is her absolutely, positively, most favorite color in the whole, wide world. So more email was exchanged insuring we could still order the shirt at this late date. I left the final choice up to Bean though; I sent her to school this morning with the money and told her to do what she thought best. I still don't know if we will be receiving the shirt or not. Though I expect more email if we are not.
So how did this perfectly cute field day t-shirt turn me into the crazy mom?? Why am I am the only one thinking that the school has 400 kids, so 400 t-shirts, every year? How much oil is used to grow that cotton, manufacter those t-shirts, and transport them to suburbia? How many soldiers died in Iraq for that oil so my kid can look perfectly coordinated on field day? And don't even get me started on the child slave labor in some country like Honduras where the shirts were probably made anyway. The ironic thing is that the kids just did a 6 week segment on the rain forest and how it is important to save the earth. I guess not important enough to just reuse your field day t-shirt from last year.
Yes, we are the crazy family.
So every year the school, like schools acorss America, has a field day where the kids get to play all kinds of fun games outside. I loved field day as a child and I love watching my daughter do field day now. This is no knock on field day. At Bean's school everyone also orders t-shirts to commemorate the event in colors that correspond with each child's grade. Everyone wears them on the day and the school looks like a floating sea of purple, red, green etc. as each grade moves from event to event.
Last year I did not order Bean one. We did not need a t-shirt, I thought it was a bit of a waste and threw the form in the recyling bin. No one from the school said anything but on the day of the event Bean was given one b/c apparently not having a t-shirt is not OK. This year I did not order one either. But this year I got a very kind email from the room mom expressing how concerned she was that Bean might be the only one in the school without a t-shirt. At this point I asked Bean if she wanted a t-shirt. I would hate to give my daughter a complex she will have to pay to see a therapist for when she is an adult. Bean did not want a t-shirt, and making me proud, she said she would just recylcle last year's shirt insteading of wasting the earth's resources.
Another email was exchanged once again encouraging the purchase of a t-shirt. At some point in the various email exchanges I am told the color is purple. Upon learning the shirt was purple I knew Bean would want it. Purple is her absolutely, positively, most favorite color in the whole, wide world. So more email was exchanged insuring we could still order the shirt at this late date. I left the final choice up to Bean though; I sent her to school this morning with the money and told her to do what she thought best. I still don't know if we will be receiving the shirt or not. Though I expect more email if we are not.
So how did this perfectly cute field day t-shirt turn me into the crazy mom?? Why am I am the only one thinking that the school has 400 kids, so 400 t-shirts, every year? How much oil is used to grow that cotton, manufacter those t-shirts, and transport them to suburbia? How many soldiers died in Iraq for that oil so my kid can look perfectly coordinated on field day? And don't even get me started on the child slave labor in some country like Honduras where the shirts were probably made anyway. The ironic thing is that the kids just did a 6 week segment on the rain forest and how it is important to save the earth. I guess not important enough to just reuse your field day t-shirt from last year.
Yes, we are the crazy family.
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