I did not write this commentary, though I agree whole heartedly. This note appeared at the Yarnharlots's blog (which I had never heard of before!) and was forwarded to me by a friend. I liked what Yarnharlot, whomever she may be, wrote so much I am going to quote her here:
Yarnharlot said:
I believe that children are people. I believe that as people, they have a right to be anywhere that people have a right to be. I also believe that some babies/children/mothers are inseparable and that that is how it should be for them. We've got the only culture on earth - or in the history of humans that actually segregates adults and children, and it's really hard on those of us who have little children who feel in their bones that they should be with their mothers. These mothers then have to choose between meeting the needs of their kids, or missing everything for years and years, and I think that really sucks, and discourages mothers from doing what is right for their particular little one. If a kid isn't ready to be without their mother (or the other way around) and there is an ever increasing list of places that babies/toddlers/children aren't welcome...then what's a woman to do....curtail every aspect of her life for years?
That said, I also think that children disrupting something is pretty sucky too. I've been at movies or plays or something like that where a child wasn't happy and nine times out of ten, the mum high-tailed it out or went to the back as soon as she realized that her kid wasn't into the scene. The tenth time, maybe she didn't, but I still cut her some slack because I understand that it might be the only time she's left the house in two weeks, and leaving the house is really hard, and maybe the only thing standing between her and taking up chewing on sticks from the park as a hobby, and because maybe the first step toward decent child care, maternity leave and ethical treatment of parents and families is actually accepting THAT CHILDREN EXIST and are so far, the only way we have found (despite them being loud, dirty and occasionally too damp for my personal taste) to continue the species.
Saying babies/toddlers/children are welcome as they need to be, however, does mean that every once in a while there is going to be a happy kid who makes too much noise or a mum who fails to recognize that her child is being disruptive (seriously, it's like becoming snow-blind. Mothers can't always see it - I assure you that getting 3 hours of broken sleep a night can mess with your judgement.) or there might even be an unhappy kid who was predicted to do well and doesn't, and instead uses the time to finely hone their impression of demon spawn, and those kids are going to be a pain in the arse....Just like some other people we are all going to meet in our day (I am keeping a list) that are a pain in the arse that we don't have the right to get rid of either. I know these occasionally loud kids are going to get on your nerves, and sometimes mine too, but I'm begging, on behalf of mothers everywhere, to approach these baby/toddler friendly events with a little tolerance and gentleness for these inexperienced little people and those who are trying to both have a life, and keep the peace.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Friday, April 25, 2008
The Crazy Family
We are officially the "crazy" family at our daughter's elementary school. I am sure this won't surprise that many of you, but I guess we didn't stand out there until recently. Or maybe we did and I just didn't realize it until now.
So every year the school, like schools acorss America, has a field day where the kids get to play all kinds of fun games outside. I loved field day as a child and I love watching my daughter do field day now. This is no knock on field day. At Bean's school everyone also orders t-shirts to commemorate the event in colors that correspond with each child's grade. Everyone wears them on the day and the school looks like a floating sea of purple, red, green etc. as each grade moves from event to event.
Last year I did not order Bean one. We did not need a t-shirt, I thought it was a bit of a waste and threw the form in the recyling bin. No one from the school said anything but on the day of the event Bean was given one b/c apparently not having a t-shirt is not OK. This year I did not order one either. But this year I got a very kind email from the room mom expressing how concerned she was that Bean might be the only one in the school without a t-shirt. At this point I asked Bean if she wanted a t-shirt. I would hate to give my daughter a complex she will have to pay to see a therapist for when she is an adult. Bean did not want a t-shirt, and making me proud, she said she would just recylcle last year's shirt insteading of wasting the earth's resources.
Another email was exchanged once again encouraging the purchase of a t-shirt. At some point in the various email exchanges I am told the color is purple. Upon learning the shirt was purple I knew Bean would want it. Purple is her absolutely, positively, most favorite color in the whole, wide world. So more email was exchanged insuring we could still order the shirt at this late date. I left the final choice up to Bean though; I sent her to school this morning with the money and told her to do what she thought best. I still don't know if we will be receiving the shirt or not. Though I expect more email if we are not.
So how did this perfectly cute field day t-shirt turn me into the crazy mom?? Why am I am the only one thinking that the school has 400 kids, so 400 t-shirts, every year? How much oil is used to grow that cotton, manufacter those t-shirts, and transport them to suburbia? How many soldiers died in Iraq for that oil so my kid can look perfectly coordinated on field day? And don't even get me started on the child slave labor in some country like Honduras where the shirts were probably made anyway. The ironic thing is that the kids just did a 6 week segment on the rain forest and how it is important to save the earth. I guess not important enough to just reuse your field day t-shirt from last year.
Yes, we are the crazy family.
So every year the school, like schools acorss America, has a field day where the kids get to play all kinds of fun games outside. I loved field day as a child and I love watching my daughter do field day now. This is no knock on field day. At Bean's school everyone also orders t-shirts to commemorate the event in colors that correspond with each child's grade. Everyone wears them on the day and the school looks like a floating sea of purple, red, green etc. as each grade moves from event to event.
Last year I did not order Bean one. We did not need a t-shirt, I thought it was a bit of a waste and threw the form in the recyling bin. No one from the school said anything but on the day of the event Bean was given one b/c apparently not having a t-shirt is not OK. This year I did not order one either. But this year I got a very kind email from the room mom expressing how concerned she was that Bean might be the only one in the school without a t-shirt. At this point I asked Bean if she wanted a t-shirt. I would hate to give my daughter a complex she will have to pay to see a therapist for when she is an adult. Bean did not want a t-shirt, and making me proud, she said she would just recylcle last year's shirt insteading of wasting the earth's resources.
Another email was exchanged once again encouraging the purchase of a t-shirt. At some point in the various email exchanges I am told the color is purple. Upon learning the shirt was purple I knew Bean would want it. Purple is her absolutely, positively, most favorite color in the whole, wide world. So more email was exchanged insuring we could still order the shirt at this late date. I left the final choice up to Bean though; I sent her to school this morning with the money and told her to do what she thought best. I still don't know if we will be receiving the shirt or not. Though I expect more email if we are not.
So how did this perfectly cute field day t-shirt turn me into the crazy mom?? Why am I am the only one thinking that the school has 400 kids, so 400 t-shirts, every year? How much oil is used to grow that cotton, manufacter those t-shirts, and transport them to suburbia? How many soldiers died in Iraq for that oil so my kid can look perfectly coordinated on field day? And don't even get me started on the child slave labor in some country like Honduras where the shirts were probably made anyway. The ironic thing is that the kids just did a 6 week segment on the rain forest and how it is important to save the earth. I guess not important enough to just reuse your field day t-shirt from last year.
Yes, we are the crazy family.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
If you gotta clean, clean it right.
List of natural cleaning supplies and mixes that I often use. I did not write all of this but wanted to compile a list so I can do an article on natural cleaning for my MOPs presentations next year.
Basic supplies, many you probably already have in the pantry are:
Baking Soda
Baking soda is made from soda ash and is slightly alkaline (its pH is around 8.1; 7 is neutral). It neutralizes acid-based odors in water and adsorbs odors from the air. Baking soda can be used as a gentle, nonabrasive cleanser for kitchen countertops, sinks, bathtubs, ovens, and fiberglass.
Washing Soda
Similar to baking soda, washing soda (sodium carbonate) is much more strongly alkaline, with a pH around 11. It releases no harmful fumes and is far safer than a commercial solvent formula. Washing soda cuts grease, cleans petroleum oil, removes wax or lipstick, and neutralizes odors in the same way as baking soda. Washing soda is found at some supermarkets in the laundry section. (only Kroger carries it around here)
Vinegar
Vinegar kills bacteria, mold, and germs. It is the opposite of baking and washing soda; it is acidic and therefore neutralizes alkaline or caustic substances. A straight 5 percent solution of vinegar kills 99 percent of bacteria, 82 percent of mold, and 80 percent of germs (viruses).
Soap vs Detergent
Both soaps and detergents are washing compounds that mix with grease and water. Soaps are made of materials found in nature, detergents are synthetic. There is little doubt that soap is better for your health and the environment than detergents. Detergents are very toxic to fish and wildlife. However, washing with soap has a big drawback, in that it reacts with the minerals in water and leaves an insoluble film (ie soap scum). Detergents react less to minerals in water and thus are the product of choice for laundry. You can ensure the least possible damage to the environment by selecting the most biodegradable products. Or you can make you own laundry soap with washing soda.
Mold killers and Tea Tree Oil
There are 3 natural ingredients that kill mold: tea tree oil (can be bought at Walmart), grapefruit seed extract, and vinegar. Vinegar is by far the cheapest. Tea tree oil is more expensive, but it is a broad-spectrum fungicide and kills all the mold families it contacts. Grapefruit seed extract cost more, but has no smell, unlike TTO which has a strong scent.
Now what you can do with these supplies:
Creamy Soft Scrubber
½ cup baking soda
liquid detergent
Pour the baking soda into a bowl and add enough liquid detergent to give the mixture the texture of frosting. Scoop it onto a sponge to wash surfaces. This is the perfect recipe for cleaning the bathtub.
Window Cleaner
1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon liquid detergent
3 tablespoons vinegar
2 cups water
Put all the ingredients in a spray bottle, shake it, and use as you would a commercial brand.
Oven Cleaner
1 cup or more baking soda
water
squirt or two of liquid detergent
Sprinkle water generously over the bottom of the oven, then cover the grime with enough baking soda that the surface is totally white. Sprinkle more water over the top. Let the mixture set overnight. You can easily wipe up the grease the next morning because the grime will have loosened.
All-Purpose Spray Cleaner
1/2 teaspoon washing soda
dab of liquid soap
2 cups hot tap water
Combine the ingredients in a spray bottle and shake until the washing soda has dissolved. Apply and wipe off with a sponge or rag.
Furniture Polish
1/2 teaspoon oil, such as olive
1/4 cup vinegar or fresh lemon juice
Mix the ingredients in a glass jar. Dab a soft rag into the solution and wipe wood surfaces. Cover the glass jar and store indefinitely.
Add water to make this a wood floor cleaner.
Vinegar Deodorizer
Keep clean spray bottles filled with straight 5 percent vinegar in your kitchen near your cutting board and in your bathroom, and use for general cleaning.
Mold Killers #1
2 teaspoons tea tree oil
2 cups water
Combine tea tree oil and water in a spray bottle, shake to blend, and use to clean. Do not rinse. Leave in the bottle-it has a long shelf life.
Mold Killer 2:
citrus Seed Extract, 20 drops
2 cups water
Combine the citrus seed extract and water in a spray bottle, shake to blend, and use to clean. Do not rinse. This also has a long shelf life.
Mold Killer 3:
Straight vinegar reportedly kills 82 percent of mold. Pour some white distilled vinegar into a spray bottle and apply to moldy areas. Let set without rinsing, if you can put up with the smell, which will subside in a few hours.
Basic supplies, many you probably already have in the pantry are:
Baking Soda
Baking soda is made from soda ash and is slightly alkaline (its pH is around 8.1; 7 is neutral). It neutralizes acid-based odors in water and adsorbs odors from the air. Baking soda can be used as a gentle, nonabrasive cleanser for kitchen countertops, sinks, bathtubs, ovens, and fiberglass.
Washing Soda
Similar to baking soda, washing soda (sodium carbonate) is much more strongly alkaline, with a pH around 11. It releases no harmful fumes and is far safer than a commercial solvent formula. Washing soda cuts grease, cleans petroleum oil, removes wax or lipstick, and neutralizes odors in the same way as baking soda. Washing soda is found at some supermarkets in the laundry section. (only Kroger carries it around here)
Vinegar
Vinegar kills bacteria, mold, and germs. It is the opposite of baking and washing soda; it is acidic and therefore neutralizes alkaline or caustic substances. A straight 5 percent solution of vinegar kills 99 percent of bacteria, 82 percent of mold, and 80 percent of germs (viruses).
Soap vs Detergent
Both soaps and detergents are washing compounds that mix with grease and water. Soaps are made of materials found in nature, detergents are synthetic. There is little doubt that soap is better for your health and the environment than detergents. Detergents are very toxic to fish and wildlife. However, washing with soap has a big drawback, in that it reacts with the minerals in water and leaves an insoluble film (ie soap scum). Detergents react less to minerals in water and thus are the product of choice for laundry. You can ensure the least possible damage to the environment by selecting the most biodegradable products. Or you can make you own laundry soap with washing soda.
Mold killers and Tea Tree Oil
There are 3 natural ingredients that kill mold: tea tree oil (can be bought at Walmart), grapefruit seed extract, and vinegar. Vinegar is by far the cheapest. Tea tree oil is more expensive, but it is a broad-spectrum fungicide and kills all the mold families it contacts. Grapefruit seed extract cost more, but has no smell, unlike TTO which has a strong scent.
Now what you can do with these supplies:
Creamy Soft Scrubber
½ cup baking soda
liquid detergent
Pour the baking soda into a bowl and add enough liquid detergent to give the mixture the texture of frosting. Scoop it onto a sponge to wash surfaces. This is the perfect recipe for cleaning the bathtub.
Window Cleaner
1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon liquid detergent
3 tablespoons vinegar
2 cups water
Put all the ingredients in a spray bottle, shake it, and use as you would a commercial brand.
Oven Cleaner
1 cup or more baking soda
water
squirt or two of liquid detergent
Sprinkle water generously over the bottom of the oven, then cover the grime with enough baking soda that the surface is totally white. Sprinkle more water over the top. Let the mixture set overnight. You can easily wipe up the grease the next morning because the grime will have loosened.
All-Purpose Spray Cleaner
1/2 teaspoon washing soda
dab of liquid soap
2 cups hot tap water
Combine the ingredients in a spray bottle and shake until the washing soda has dissolved. Apply and wipe off with a sponge or rag.
Furniture Polish
1/2 teaspoon oil, such as olive
1/4 cup vinegar or fresh lemon juice
Mix the ingredients in a glass jar. Dab a soft rag into the solution and wipe wood surfaces. Cover the glass jar and store indefinitely.
Add water to make this a wood floor cleaner.
Vinegar Deodorizer
Keep clean spray bottles filled with straight 5 percent vinegar in your kitchen near your cutting board and in your bathroom, and use for general cleaning.
Mold Killers #1
2 teaspoons tea tree oil
2 cups water
Combine tea tree oil and water in a spray bottle, shake to blend, and use to clean. Do not rinse. Leave in the bottle-it has a long shelf life.
Mold Killer 2:
citrus Seed Extract, 20 drops
2 cups water
Combine the citrus seed extract and water in a spray bottle, shake to blend, and use to clean. Do not rinse. This also has a long shelf life.
Mold Killer 3:
Straight vinegar reportedly kills 82 percent of mold. Pour some white distilled vinegar into a spray bottle and apply to moldy areas. Let set without rinsing, if you can put up with the smell, which will subside in a few hours.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Indescribable, Uncontainable - Amazing doula moment
I have had so many amazing experiences these last few months as I have started attending births and providing doula services. One moment in particular I get to enjoy reliving because the moment was wrapped up in a beautiful song that I hear on the radio from time to time.
At this birth mom was absolutly amazing and attending to her was an honor and a pleasure. This special moment took place close to the end of labor as mom was dealing with the most intense physical strain and drawing deep from within just trusting God and his design of her body to get the job done. She was able to ask for a certain song to be played. The room was quiet except for this music, and our whispered words of encouragement and prayer. As mom swayed through a contraction the room was filled with an incredible peace as these words played: (hum it with me if you know it!)
Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God.
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God.
For me, it seemed time stood still as the words covered the moment. As this mother was on the verge of bringing her son into the world, it was so apparent that God certainly is indescribale, uncontainable and all powerful. When I hear this song now, I am immediatly brought back to that moment and humbled once again by how amazing God is and by how incredible it is that we get to share in the process of creating and bringing forth new life. Wow.
At this birth mom was absolutly amazing and attending to her was an honor and a pleasure. This special moment took place close to the end of labor as mom was dealing with the most intense physical strain and drawing deep from within just trusting God and his design of her body to get the job done. She was able to ask for a certain song to be played. The room was quiet except for this music, and our whispered words of encouragement and prayer. As mom swayed through a contraction the room was filled with an incredible peace as these words played: (hum it with me if you know it!)
Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God.
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God.
For me, it seemed time stood still as the words covered the moment. As this mother was on the verge of bringing her son into the world, it was so apparent that God certainly is indescribale, uncontainable and all powerful. When I hear this song now, I am immediatly brought back to that moment and humbled once again by how amazing God is and by how incredible it is that we get to share in the process of creating and bringing forth new life. Wow.
The trouble with Christianity
The trouble with Christianity is all us Christians. Thank goodness it is not about us and it is about Him. Man oh man, I love God, but a lot of his followers are going to send me round the bend.
I wonder if anyone else every feels this way? When I look at my life, pretty much every major hurtful word or action was spoken to me by a fellow Christian. This is applies to the past and present issues. Of course that only means that I am probably the burr in someone else's saddle, hurting them without intending to by my sheer blindness or selfishness.
Though sometimes "fellowshipping" feels a bit like middle school.
I wonder if anyone else every feels this way? When I look at my life, pretty much every major hurtful word or action was spoken to me by a fellow Christian. This is applies to the past and present issues. Of course that only means that I am probably the burr in someone else's saddle, hurting them without intending to by my sheer blindness or selfishness.
Though sometimes "fellowshipping" feels a bit like middle school.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
You Get What You Need?
In the last few weeks I have really been pondering the idea of God meeting our needs. Is it true or does it just make us feel better to think so?
Now don't get me wrong, I beleive God will give us what we need...basically salvation. But apart from that I have decided that no, he won't, at least not all the time. Maybe even not most of the time.
I don't normally think all that negatively, so why are these thoughts even floating around my head? I have recently heard fellow Christians make the comment "I guess God just thought we needed that" or "God knew we needed such and such even when we didn't". I think right now it just sounds so hollow to me.
I remember that for every person Jesus healed, there were thousands of people that were not. If those that were healed walked around the unhealed stating that God knew what they needed and that is why they were healed, how would that make the unhealed feel? Does God not know what they need too? Christians starve everyday, Christians are tortured everyday. Clearly God doesn't meet our physical needs. Yet Christians I meet routinely proclaim stories that God met their needs by providing a friend, a good parking spot or a good deal a garage sale, etc.
I will make this more personal because I think that is the only way to tie this all together. I had a miscarriage over spring break and those of you who have read this blog or know me, know I very much want another child. Just last week another Chrisitan, whom is really a lovely person, spent a great deal of time telling me how God gave her a surprise child because God must have known she needed it. Honestly, her testimony did not help me see the glory of God, it made me feel ignored by God. I have longed for another child for years but if her logic is correct God must know I don't need another child. ( Which perhaps may be be true given my parenting skills with the ones I have, but I guess that is another story!)
I prefer to think God is just as sad as I am about the miscarriage and my inablility to have another child. I prefer not to think God doesn't care about my needs. I prefer not to be told that God cared about someone else and not me and my baby.
So maybe that is what this boils down to. I am the unhealed walking around with the healed. I am the sick leper back at the camp while the healed lepers are walking and leaping and praising God. It doesn't feel great to be the unhealed listening to the healed.
Now don't get me wrong, I beleive God will give us what we need...basically salvation. But apart from that I have decided that no, he won't, at least not all the time. Maybe even not most of the time.
I don't normally think all that negatively, so why are these thoughts even floating around my head? I have recently heard fellow Christians make the comment "I guess God just thought we needed that" or "God knew we needed such and such even when we didn't". I think right now it just sounds so hollow to me.
I remember that for every person Jesus healed, there were thousands of people that were not. If those that were healed walked around the unhealed stating that God knew what they needed and that is why they were healed, how would that make the unhealed feel? Does God not know what they need too? Christians starve everyday, Christians are tortured everyday. Clearly God doesn't meet our physical needs. Yet Christians I meet routinely proclaim stories that God met their needs by providing a friend, a good parking spot or a good deal a garage sale, etc.
I will make this more personal because I think that is the only way to tie this all together. I had a miscarriage over spring break and those of you who have read this blog or know me, know I very much want another child. Just last week another Chrisitan, whom is really a lovely person, spent a great deal of time telling me how God gave her a surprise child because God must have known she needed it. Honestly, her testimony did not help me see the glory of God, it made me feel ignored by God. I have longed for another child for years but if her logic is correct God must know I don't need another child. ( Which perhaps may be be true given my parenting skills with the ones I have, but I guess that is another story!)
I prefer to think God is just as sad as I am about the miscarriage and my inablility to have another child. I prefer not to think God doesn't care about my needs. I prefer not to be told that God cared about someone else and not me and my baby.
So maybe that is what this boils down to. I am the unhealed walking around with the healed. I am the sick leper back at the camp while the healed lepers are walking and leaping and praising God. It doesn't feel great to be the unhealed listening to the healed.
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