While catching up on my newspaper reading this morning, I read an editorial in the WSJ that used a new term, to me anyway, that I find appealing...a Whole Food Republican. I generally use the term crunchy conservative to describe my political/lifestyle views but I like this one a lot too even though I don't consider myself a Republican (more of a Libertarian really). However, this term is an ode to the fact that you can be a cloth diping, organic food eating, raw milk drinking, homebirthing, herb swallowing, alternative medicine using, extended breastfeeding, skipping vaxes kind of gal and still be a down with being a conservative and follower of Christ. I think most people equate shopping at Whole Foods, veggie co-ops, leading an environmentally responsible lifestyle, homebirth and herbs as things that line up with being a liberal politically speaking and perhaps leaning New Age religiously speaking. Tree hugging in general definitely seems to be the province of the Left. However, to me, conservatism and these choices go hand and hand. It is all about personal liberty. The less rules the government makes, the more each person can make choices that best suit their family. Big government gets in the way of that process more often than not.
I know others like me exist, I meet them on line all the time. I just don't see them very often in everyday life though and I never see them in the pews next to me at church. I see conservatives for sure, and I see those who are "crunchy" but rarely the combo of the two.(Don't get me wrong, there are lots of very nice folks in my life and church and being crunchy or conservative is NOT *the* thing that makes great friends or great people in general. In fact in the grand scheme of things it is a minor detail.) That being said, it was fantastic to see an article about people like me in the Wall Street Journal. I feel very cool and loved after getting some press!
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
Life Now
Dalton will be 12 weeks tomorrow. 12 weeks! That is just craziness, it seems like I was just pregnant and rubbing my cute tummy. However it has been the quickest 12 weeks of my life. As I have had what I consider hard babies each previous time, I was expecting life to be really difficult after Dalton arrived. To the contrary, I have either gotten more laid back or he is a laid back guy himself because it has been great! He is so sweet and cute and precious and all those adjectives us moms use to describe our offspring. Best of all, he sleeps! Not all night every night, but for 6 plus hours straight each night. Not too shabby considering my others did not do that until, oh....maybe a year.
We did have a few moments of imperfection. Dalton lost a lot of weight his first weeks of life and I had trouble nursing him which led to even more weight loss. I am proud to say that after LOTS of work and stress on my part, nursing is now going great and he is a chunker, at least compared to those first scrawny days. And I did it all without anything but my mommy milk. He did get many a bottle but he never got any supplements. I do think some of those bottles represented equal parts milk to my tears. Nursing issues immediately post partum are so not fun and I definitely cried as we struggled.
Dalton went on his first plane trip when he was around 8 weeks when we flew home to SC to see my family and for him to meet his great grandmother. Travel is still pretty easy at that age because nursing takes care a multitude of baby woes. He nursed most of the plane ride and was also very accommodating during the visit. He did have some "loud" moments in the 2 hour car drive that was necessitated due to overbooked flights and us not being able to fly into the closest airport to our destination. Nana seemed to think he was pretty cute and everyone thinks he looks just like W.
I had my first after- having-my-baby doula client delivery two weeks ago and that went fantastically. Luckily for all of us it was quick and mom made it look easy (though I know she would most certainly say it was NOT easy!) It is great to be back in the delivery room but after my homebirth I really can't wait to start my midwifery training. It will be hard to put it off the 3 years or more that I want to wait for Dalton to get bigger....and of course I won't stop praying for another little blessing in the mean time (but don't tell Brian just how hard I am praying for that, hehe).
I know there is lots more I could say, but my blogging time is limited right now. Besides, I am pretty sure no one but me will have too much interest in my babbling on and on about my little guy, who by the way just woke up and needs some momma lovin'.
We did have a few moments of imperfection. Dalton lost a lot of weight his first weeks of life and I had trouble nursing him which led to even more weight loss. I am proud to say that after LOTS of work and stress on my part, nursing is now going great and he is a chunker, at least compared to those first scrawny days. And I did it all without anything but my mommy milk. He did get many a bottle but he never got any supplements. I do think some of those bottles represented equal parts milk to my tears. Nursing issues immediately post partum are so not fun and I definitely cried as we struggled.
Dalton went on his first plane trip when he was around 8 weeks when we flew home to SC to see my family and for him to meet his great grandmother. Travel is still pretty easy at that age because nursing takes care a multitude of baby woes. He nursed most of the plane ride and was also very accommodating during the visit. He did have some "loud" moments in the 2 hour car drive that was necessitated due to overbooked flights and us not being able to fly into the closest airport to our destination. Nana seemed to think he was pretty cute and everyone thinks he looks just like W.
I had my first after- having-my-baby doula client delivery two weeks ago and that went fantastically. Luckily for all of us it was quick and mom made it look easy (though I know she would most certainly say it was NOT easy!) It is great to be back in the delivery room but after my homebirth I really can't wait to start my midwifery training. It will be hard to put it off the 3 years or more that I want to wait for Dalton to get bigger....and of course I won't stop praying for another little blessing in the mean time (but don't tell Brian just how hard I am praying for that, hehe).
I know there is lots more I could say, but my blogging time is limited right now. Besides, I am pretty sure no one but me will have too much interest in my babbling on and on about my little guy, who by the way just woke up and needs some momma lovin'.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
Dalton's Birth Story
This is the story of our 4th child and 3rd son. It was my longest pregnancy as well as my longest and hardest labor. It was also my first homebirth, and probably due to it being a homebirth, it was my most enjoyable birth and easiest recovery.
Sunday, August 30th During the afternoon, I started to feel what I thought were early labor contractions. They were not painful, just a whisper of the sensations I knew would come. All day they came but I kept this to myself and continued on with life. I went to bed early thinking that sleep might be elusive. Fortunately I did sleep for a few hours, unfortunately I woke up around midnight for a nightly potty run and I could not go back to sleep.
Monday, August 31st The contractions were no longer whispers, but the definite tightening that signals real business. Further more, with each one I needed to go the bathroom, so for several hours I played the back and forth game between the potty and the bed. Finally around 4am I fell into a weird twilight sleep where I dreamed odd dreams that incorporated the contractions in crazy ways and I knew that today was the day we would meet our little one. I was wrong.
Once the big kids were out the door to school I went for walk. It was slow going stopping for contractions every 6 minutes or so. However, it was a beautiful morning and walking around made me feel like I was doing my part to encourage baby’s exit. Though I did worry a little about freaking out the neighbors if they happened to glance outside while I was breathing through my contractions. I would like to say Wes and I did exciting things all day to pass the time, however we mostly just hung out cleaning the house, reading books, eating and talking on the phone to family and friends. Contractions were still coming every 6-10 mins with no pattern, though the intensity picked up through the morning and afternoon. I decided to get in the tub to see what happened, especially as I needed to do my pre-birth leg shaving anyway. I figured things might slow down or things would keep moving along. Of course since I was in the tub, Wes felt the need to join me. I can’t say that having a 3 year old ram toy boats into my thighs was really all that relaxing, but we both got clean, my legs got smooth and I established that my contractions were definitely not going away.
We walked down to pick the older kids up from school and once again walking felt productive. When we got home, I sat on my birthball for a while and had Ashby rub my back. I started to feel like contractions were getting closer together so I texted Donnellyn (my midwife). She thought I should time some to see how long they were lasting. Timing contractions is actually quite a challenge when one is alone in labor and can’t find one’s watch with a second hand, so I went to contractionmaster.com. According to the site my contractions were coming every 4-6 mins and lasting about a minute.
I have to admit; I was getting a little frustrated dealing with contractions and not having any one around to help the kids or me. I was also frustrated that my labor didn’t seem to be progressing as fast as I hoped. I was too uncomfortable to do much but not uncomfortable enough to be ready to push out a baby. Super B did come home around 6:30 and he watched me have about two contractions before he phoned Donnellyn and Charlotte (my doula) and told them it was time for everyone to come over. I was not sure it was really time, but B saw a panting wife and figured he needed to bring in the troops, if not for me then for him. Charlotte arrived first and we immediately went to walk. Donnellyn arrived about half hour later (8pm) and Lynsey (the photographer) a bit after that. After Donnellyn arrived she asked if she could check me, but honestly I was too worried to find out that I might be completely undilated to let her.
Maybe having B home and made me feel I could stop being mom and start being labor woman because contractions hit a regular pattern and intensity picked up. I was somewhat concerned that the baby was in an asynclitic position due to my labor’s slow start. We used some rotational positioning to see if that would encourage baby into a more ideal position if that was indeed an issue. The positioning slowed labor a bit, but eventually I made it through the whole rotation and it was obvious that afterwards my contractions were now stronger. Donnellyn again suggested doing a vaginal exam so that she would have a better idea about when to call the second midwife. I was still very apprehensive about having an exam for the same previous reason, but I did consent. I was thrilled to find out after a quick exam, that I was 100% effaced and 6cm. With this good news I had a sudden burst of energy and walked around the house with a big smile on my face. It was probably around 10pm at this point.
That happy energy didn’t last long because I quickly entered the fun of transition phase. At first I was doing great, breathing slowly to relax through contractions and laboring on the toilet, against the kitchen bar, and at the end of my bed. However, within a short period of time my labor seemed to overwhelm me. Sarah, the second midwife, arrived at some point and Donnellyn suggested it was time to get in the tub, which I happily did. Once in the tub I relaxed well in between contractions, but it was hard getting comfortable during contractions. I don’t know how long I was in the tub, but the water had gotten cold and I needed to go the bathroom, so I got out. I honestly don’t know why I never made it back in, but at that point I started to come a little unhinged. I was laboring holding on the footboard of my bed and leaning over into each contraction but I no longer had any control of my breathing. With each contraction it felt like the baby might be coming out of my thighs and hips there was so much pressure there. I also had the shakes and felt like vomiting with each contraction. During this time the baby’s heart tones were getting a bit high, so Donnellyn and Sarah had me gulp a bunch of my tea. They also thought I needed some quick energy so Donnellyn spoon-fed me some honey. Yuck! I normally like honey but that was not something I enjoyed at that particular moment. However, instantly the baby’s heart rate came down and I just kept drinking as much as I could to keep it that way. I don’t recall how or why the issue was brought up, but we had a brief discussion concerning breaking my water. I immediately said I was not interested since in doula work, artificially rupturing the membranes is often the start of things going down hill fast.
Tuesday, September 1st At one point when I was really at my emotional limit, I heard Sarah, who was sitting in front of me, start to pray and then behind me Charlotte started to pray too. I loved the prayers but I couldn’t help but think, “Oh my, I must be really bad off if they have just given up on anything helping except prayer.” Donnellyn was praying too, but she also started doing some fabulous hip squeezes. They really made a big difference. I kept thinking that I must be almost complete and hoped to feel an urge to push with each contraction, but alas contraction after contraction came and no pushing urge. It had been 3 hours since I had been found to be at 6cm. Now I asked Donnellyn if breaking my water would be helpful because I was DONE. I still was not quite ready to try this option, but I was ready to talk about it. Donnellyn definitely did not push me and I think since I was still reluctant she changed the subject. Sometime in this phase Donnellyn gave me the homeopathic Rescue Remedy. I was a skeptic, but that stuff really works. Of course contractions were just as painful, but I felt pure peace for the few moments in between. I know I was really loud during this time, moaning (or singing as someone kindly put it) during each contraction. It was about this time that I started to consider giving myself a c-section right there in my room. My level of pain level was higher than with my other natural births and knowing I was reaching my breaking point, I decided it was time to pop my bag and see what might happen.
At first, Donnellyn thought she would do an exam and hope my water broke during the exam. It didn’t, and she said I was only an 8 plus cm. She tried a little finger amnio breaker, which also failed to break my water. Finally she used the big ‘ole amnio hook and it STILL could not break my water. Lying on the bed having this done during major contractions was the exact opposite of fun. Sarah then took a turn with the amnio hook and she said I was now 9 or even 10 with just a lip. That was good news! Finally Sara managed to rupture my water. She just started reminding me that I might feel a change in the next few contractions but she didn’t even get to finish that thought. Suddenly the baby was in the birth canal and on my perineum. I must have made some guttural sound, because Brian, who was sleeping in the den, came running in. I knew the baby was seconds away from being born and I wanted two things…I told Brian to wake up the kids and for someone put me in the tub. I wanted my waterbirth! Donnellyn and Sarah basically ignored me because they were now busy catching a baby and I wasn’t going anywhere. If Brain had gone to get the kids, he would have missed the birth.
So, less than 30 seconds after my water was broken, Dalton made his appearance. It happened so fast that Donnellyn didn’t even have time to put on gloves. He had a nuchal cord that needed to be reduced but otherwise I received Dalton on my chest and that is where he happily hung out for a nice visit until the cord stopped pulsing and we were ready to move to the herbal bath. I don’t recall who announced the gender, but someone told me that I had new son. I don’t even think I looked to verify until later though. Dalton’s apgars were 9 and 9, and he nursed well as we lay in bed together getting to know each other.
Sunday, August 30th During the afternoon, I started to feel what I thought were early labor contractions. They were not painful, just a whisper of the sensations I knew would come. All day they came but I kept this to myself and continued on with life. I went to bed early thinking that sleep might be elusive. Fortunately I did sleep for a few hours, unfortunately I woke up around midnight for a nightly potty run and I could not go back to sleep.
Monday, August 31st The contractions were no longer whispers, but the definite tightening that signals real business. Further more, with each one I needed to go the bathroom, so for several hours I played the back and forth game between the potty and the bed. Finally around 4am I fell into a weird twilight sleep where I dreamed odd dreams that incorporated the contractions in crazy ways and I knew that today was the day we would meet our little one. I was wrong.
Once the big kids were out the door to school I went for walk. It was slow going stopping for contractions every 6 minutes or so. However, it was a beautiful morning and walking around made me feel like I was doing my part to encourage baby’s exit. Though I did worry a little about freaking out the neighbors if they happened to glance outside while I was breathing through my contractions. I would like to say Wes and I did exciting things all day to pass the time, however we mostly just hung out cleaning the house, reading books, eating and talking on the phone to family and friends. Contractions were still coming every 6-10 mins with no pattern, though the intensity picked up through the morning and afternoon. I decided to get in the tub to see what happened, especially as I needed to do my pre-birth leg shaving anyway. I figured things might slow down or things would keep moving along. Of course since I was in the tub, Wes felt the need to join me. I can’t say that having a 3 year old ram toy boats into my thighs was really all that relaxing, but we both got clean, my legs got smooth and I established that my contractions were definitely not going away.
We walked down to pick the older kids up from school and once again walking felt productive. When we got home, I sat on my birthball for a while and had Ashby rub my back. I started to feel like contractions were getting closer together so I texted Donnellyn (my midwife). She thought I should time some to see how long they were lasting. Timing contractions is actually quite a challenge when one is alone in labor and can’t find one’s watch with a second hand, so I went to contractionmaster.com. According to the site my contractions were coming every 4-6 mins and lasting about a minute.
I have to admit; I was getting a little frustrated dealing with contractions and not having any one around to help the kids or me. I was also frustrated that my labor didn’t seem to be progressing as fast as I hoped. I was too uncomfortable to do much but not uncomfortable enough to be ready to push out a baby. Super B did come home around 6:30 and he watched me have about two contractions before he phoned Donnellyn and Charlotte (my doula) and told them it was time for everyone to come over. I was not sure it was really time, but B saw a panting wife and figured he needed to bring in the troops, if not for me then for him. Charlotte arrived first and we immediately went to walk. Donnellyn arrived about half hour later (8pm) and Lynsey (the photographer) a bit after that. After Donnellyn arrived she asked if she could check me, but honestly I was too worried to find out that I might be completely undilated to let her.
Maybe having B home and made me feel I could stop being mom and start being labor woman because contractions hit a regular pattern and intensity picked up. I was somewhat concerned that the baby was in an asynclitic position due to my labor’s slow start. We used some rotational positioning to see if that would encourage baby into a more ideal position if that was indeed an issue. The positioning slowed labor a bit, but eventually I made it through the whole rotation and it was obvious that afterwards my contractions were now stronger. Donnellyn again suggested doing a vaginal exam so that she would have a better idea about when to call the second midwife. I was still very apprehensive about having an exam for the same previous reason, but I did consent. I was thrilled to find out after a quick exam, that I was 100% effaced and 6cm. With this good news I had a sudden burst of energy and walked around the house with a big smile on my face. It was probably around 10pm at this point.
That happy energy didn’t last long because I quickly entered the fun of transition phase. At first I was doing great, breathing slowly to relax through contractions and laboring on the toilet, against the kitchen bar, and at the end of my bed. However, within a short period of time my labor seemed to overwhelm me. Sarah, the second midwife, arrived at some point and Donnellyn suggested it was time to get in the tub, which I happily did. Once in the tub I relaxed well in between contractions, but it was hard getting comfortable during contractions. I don’t know how long I was in the tub, but the water had gotten cold and I needed to go the bathroom, so I got out. I honestly don’t know why I never made it back in, but at that point I started to come a little unhinged. I was laboring holding on the footboard of my bed and leaning over into each contraction but I no longer had any control of my breathing. With each contraction it felt like the baby might be coming out of my thighs and hips there was so much pressure there. I also had the shakes and felt like vomiting with each contraction. During this time the baby’s heart tones were getting a bit high, so Donnellyn and Sarah had me gulp a bunch of my tea. They also thought I needed some quick energy so Donnellyn spoon-fed me some honey. Yuck! I normally like honey but that was not something I enjoyed at that particular moment. However, instantly the baby’s heart rate came down and I just kept drinking as much as I could to keep it that way. I don’t recall how or why the issue was brought up, but we had a brief discussion concerning breaking my water. I immediately said I was not interested since in doula work, artificially rupturing the membranes is often the start of things going down hill fast.
Tuesday, September 1st At one point when I was really at my emotional limit, I heard Sarah, who was sitting in front of me, start to pray and then behind me Charlotte started to pray too. I loved the prayers but I couldn’t help but think, “Oh my, I must be really bad off if they have just given up on anything helping except prayer.” Donnellyn was praying too, but she also started doing some fabulous hip squeezes. They really made a big difference. I kept thinking that I must be almost complete and hoped to feel an urge to push with each contraction, but alas contraction after contraction came and no pushing urge. It had been 3 hours since I had been found to be at 6cm. Now I asked Donnellyn if breaking my water would be helpful because I was DONE. I still was not quite ready to try this option, but I was ready to talk about it. Donnellyn definitely did not push me and I think since I was still reluctant she changed the subject. Sometime in this phase Donnellyn gave me the homeopathic Rescue Remedy. I was a skeptic, but that stuff really works. Of course contractions were just as painful, but I felt pure peace for the few moments in between. I know I was really loud during this time, moaning (or singing as someone kindly put it) during each contraction. It was about this time that I started to consider giving myself a c-section right there in my room. My level of pain level was higher than with my other natural births and knowing I was reaching my breaking point, I decided it was time to pop my bag and see what might happen.
At first, Donnellyn thought she would do an exam and hope my water broke during the exam. It didn’t, and she said I was only an 8 plus cm. She tried a little finger amnio breaker, which also failed to break my water. Finally she used the big ‘ole amnio hook and it STILL could not break my water. Lying on the bed having this done during major contractions was the exact opposite of fun. Sarah then took a turn with the amnio hook and she said I was now 9 or even 10 with just a lip. That was good news! Finally Sara managed to rupture my water. She just started reminding me that I might feel a change in the next few contractions but she didn’t even get to finish that thought. Suddenly the baby was in the birth canal and on my perineum. I must have made some guttural sound, because Brian, who was sleeping in the den, came running in. I knew the baby was seconds away from being born and I wanted two things…I told Brian to wake up the kids and for someone put me in the tub. I wanted my waterbirth! Donnellyn and Sarah basically ignored me because they were now busy catching a baby and I wasn’t going anywhere. If Brain had gone to get the kids, he would have missed the birth.
So, less than 30 seconds after my water was broken, Dalton made his appearance. It happened so fast that Donnellyn didn’t even have time to put on gloves. He had a nuchal cord that needed to be reduced but otherwise I received Dalton on my chest and that is where he happily hung out for a nice visit until the cord stopped pulsing and we were ready to move to the herbal bath. I don’t recall who announced the gender, but someone told me that I had new son. I don’t even think I looked to verify until later though. Dalton’s apgars were 9 and 9, and he nursed well as we lay in bed together getting to know each other.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Labor Prayer
I sent this out at the start of my labor. (Yes, baby Dalton is here safe and sound). I have not finished typing up my birth story yet but I will have it done soon and I guess I can see how God answered my prayer. I can give you a hint, he DID NOT grant me the short and easy labor I had hoped for but I did indeed have a wonderful homebirth. And of course now that it is sucessfully over and I am holding my little one in my lap, the pain already seems like a distant memory. Though maybe not too distant...
My Labor Prayer
Lord, thank you for giving this new life to B and Me
As I work to bring this child into our arms I ask the following:
Let my labor be uncomplicated, and help to me to put my trust in your design of my body to deliver this baby.
Give discernment to those who are attending me.
Give me energy and peace. Give me comfort when it hurts.
Help me to allow your presence at the birth by reminding me that this process of labor is a form of prayer and worship and designed by you, it is not just pain with no purpose.
And since I am asking for things Lord, here are a few more bonus requests:
I ask for a short and easy labor.
I ask everyone will get here in time.
I pray that B will be at peace.
I ask that I won’t have any need to transfer and can have the homebirth I desire.
I ask that my older children will adjust and love their new sibling.
Most of all I ask that our baby will be healthy and that we are prepared to raise another child to grow to love You, no matter what happens at this child’s birth.
Amen.
My Labor Prayer
Lord, thank you for giving this new life to B and Me
As I work to bring this child into our arms I ask the following:
Let my labor be uncomplicated, and help to me to put my trust in your design of my body to deliver this baby.
Give discernment to those who are attending me.
Give me energy and peace. Give me comfort when it hurts.
Help me to allow your presence at the birth by reminding me that this process of labor is a form of prayer and worship and designed by you, it is not just pain with no purpose.
And since I am asking for things Lord, here are a few more bonus requests:
I ask for a short and easy labor.
I ask everyone will get here in time.
I pray that B will be at peace.
I ask that I won’t have any need to transfer and can have the homebirth I desire.
I ask that my older children will adjust and love their new sibling.
Most of all I ask that our baby will be healthy and that we are prepared to raise another child to grow to love You, no matter what happens at this child’s birth.
Amen.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Still Preggers
So this week I will be 40 weeks pregnant. I cannot believe it. All other pregnancies of mine have ended in spontaneous labors around 38 weeks, so this is definitely the longest I have been pregnant. I honestly can't decide if I am happy or sad about this either. On the one hand, being pregnant is gobs easier than dealing with a newborn and generally speaking I like being pregnant. On the other hand, it would be nice to have labor under my belt and I admit that am not the most comfortable I have ever been in my own skin at the moment. Plus I wonder what on earth is the deal with this child being already so different than the others and what other different things do I have to look forward to???
I really want to savor each precious moment of the end of this pregnancy since barring a true miracle bolt of lightening from God, this is it. I will never feel the rumble and tumble of a baby in my belly again. I will never feel the tugging and tightening of a contraction and I won't ever rub the swell of my belly again. I mourn those sensations with a passion I am almost afraid to say out loud for fear of sounding plum crazy. The last week I have enjoyed lots of one on one time with Woo and just relaxed and enjoyed each second of life. I don't do this enough and I am so thankful I have had these "extra" weeks to be lazy and just be in the moment. I have been lazy, indulgent, hungry, napped, and read etc to my heart's desire. I have even tried to keep the house clean and enjoyed the calm a well managed nest brings.
But of course there is a but....But I am nervous about labor. Not scared and not worried about the baby or me. Just the pain. I know, I know, I am a doula and we are supposed to call it rushes and waves blah, blah, blah. Certainly I will use all those types of tools to work through the completely anticipated and purposeful pain of labor, and I do believe that they will work and I won't freak out. But I have all the what ifs in my head as well. What if baby is OP and it takes forever? Will I be OK with a hot compress for days at a time? What if I make a fool out of myself during transition? What if transition lasts forever??? I think some of this fear is based on having seen lots of births and knowing that birth doesn't always follow the route one expects it to take. Which is OK. Birth is normal and my body knows what to do because God designed it for this very task and God has chosen my baby's birth date. But still. So many buts.
So all those buts aside, here are the stats from my last midwife appointment:
weight gain: 27 pounds
tummy measuring- 38.5 weeks
BP- super low as usual
Baby is still ROA
hemoglobin on the low side so I got some bloodwork done Friday, no word back from Donnellyn yet though
Baby's HB- 136
Perhaps this will be my last post until labor (or after baby arrives depending on how things go down). Or maybe I will post again this week about pregnancy. I do love the whole "when is it going to happen" thing!
I really want to savor each precious moment of the end of this pregnancy since barring a true miracle bolt of lightening from God, this is it. I will never feel the rumble and tumble of a baby in my belly again. I will never feel the tugging and tightening of a contraction and I won't ever rub the swell of my belly again. I mourn those sensations with a passion I am almost afraid to say out loud for fear of sounding plum crazy. The last week I have enjoyed lots of one on one time with Woo and just relaxed and enjoyed each second of life. I don't do this enough and I am so thankful I have had these "extra" weeks to be lazy and just be in the moment. I have been lazy, indulgent, hungry, napped, and read etc to my heart's desire. I have even tried to keep the house clean and enjoyed the calm a well managed nest brings.
But of course there is a but....But I am nervous about labor. Not scared and not worried about the baby or me. Just the pain. I know, I know, I am a doula and we are supposed to call it rushes and waves blah, blah, blah. Certainly I will use all those types of tools to work through the completely anticipated and purposeful pain of labor, and I do believe that they will work and I won't freak out. But I have all the what ifs in my head as well. What if baby is OP and it takes forever? Will I be OK with a hot compress for days at a time? What if I make a fool out of myself during transition? What if transition lasts forever??? I think some of this fear is based on having seen lots of births and knowing that birth doesn't always follow the route one expects it to take. Which is OK. Birth is normal and my body knows what to do because God designed it for this very task and God has chosen my baby's birth date. But still. So many buts.
So all those buts aside, here are the stats from my last midwife appointment:
weight gain: 27 pounds
tummy measuring- 38.5 weeks
BP- super low as usual
Baby is still ROA
hemoglobin on the low side so I got some bloodwork done Friday, no word back from Donnellyn yet though
Baby's HB- 136
Perhaps this will be my last post until labor (or after baby arrives depending on how things go down). Or maybe I will post again this week about pregnancy. I do love the whole "when is it going to happen" thing!
Monday, August 24, 2009
Summer is Over
Summer is over. Of course Fall isn't here yet and it is still hot as blazes, but still, Summer is definitely over. Bean and Roo started school today which was a bit sad, but a bit happy. The passing of time marked by back to schools and other marker type days is sad, and the house sure seems mighty quiet (yet already much cleaner). However both kids were really excited about starting up again and seeing their excitement made me excited for them as well. I only pray that this year goes as well as the last year. Not that I wouldn't mind a good reason to homeschool if it came to that, but starting with a positive attitude is probably the way to go here!
And yes, I am still pregnant. I have to admit I am surprised about that, I really thought I would be lugging a baby up to the school today. But this looks like it will be my longest pregnancy yet. It has already surpassed both Woo's and Beans and in just a few days will be longer than Roo's. So much for going earlier with each child! If I have time I will probably post just about the pregnancy...right now that seems so separate from the rest of my life. (is denial a sign of impending labor???)
Since I have these bonus days with just me and Woo I plan to really enjoy this week and do some fun stuff with him. Some of that fun stuff will definitely include eating some yummy food together and taking naps together in the afternoons. I feel like a princess right about now! Or maybe just a pampered housewife. Either way, what a treat.
Just to share one lovely story from the weekend before the start of school, Roo had to get 6 staples in the back of head Friday night. Apparently my crazy boy child thought it would be fun to slide backwards down a banister at an outdoor concert we attended that night. With all that long hair of his, there was blood everywhere and we couldn't tell what was bleeding and how bad the injury actually was. After some deliberation (mostly me thinking we could handle things our self) Super B talked me into an Urgent Care Center run. I was defiantly wrong b/c they very quickly saw that he had a gaping wound in the back of head and then just as quickly stapled it back together. In fact they just stapled through his long hair and all. We hope Roo learned something about crazy playing, but honestly doubt this will be our last trip for stitches or staples.
And yes, I am still pregnant. I have to admit I am surprised about that, I really thought I would be lugging a baby up to the school today. But this looks like it will be my longest pregnancy yet. It has already surpassed both Woo's and Beans and in just a few days will be longer than Roo's. So much for going earlier with each child! If I have time I will probably post just about the pregnancy...right now that seems so separate from the rest of my life. (is denial a sign of impending labor???)
Since I have these bonus days with just me and Woo I plan to really enjoy this week and do some fun stuff with him. Some of that fun stuff will definitely include eating some yummy food together and taking naps together in the afternoons. I feel like a princess right about now! Or maybe just a pampered housewife. Either way, what a treat.
Just to share one lovely story from the weekend before the start of school, Roo had to get 6 staples in the back of head Friday night. Apparently my crazy boy child thought it would be fun to slide backwards down a banister at an outdoor concert we attended that night. With all that long hair of his, there was blood everywhere and we couldn't tell what was bleeding and how bad the injury actually was. After some deliberation (mostly me thinking we could handle things our self) Super B talked me into an Urgent Care Center run. I was defiantly wrong b/c they very quickly saw that he had a gaping wound in the back of head and then just as quickly stapled it back together. In fact they just stapled through his long hair and all. We hope Roo learned something about crazy playing, but honestly doubt this will be our last trip for stitches or staples.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Professional belly shots
Here are my sneak peak belly shots:
http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=222371515653&h=lBEwi&u=J1Y22&ref=mf
Basically what that means is that there is more to come! I would love to post more, but I don't have the A/C on up here and I think I am about to have a heat stroke...
http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=222371515653&h=lBEwi&u=J1Y22&ref=mf
Basically what that means is that there is more to come! I would love to post more, but I don't have the A/C on up here and I think I am about to have a heat stroke...
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Now About the Belly
I am still gestating so let me update that too. I am 32 ish weeks and very hot. Not HAWT, just hot, as in Texas in the summer and it is 400 degrees everyday kind of hot. Overall I still feel really great and this pregnancy is just flying by. I am trying to walk a mile each morning to help avoid any bad stuff and so far that seems to be working. Except for a few leg cramps here and there it has been very smooth sailing....and when I can remember to take those dang prenatal pills I don't even have to worry about the leg cramps. My midwife-recommended prenatals need to be taken SIX times a day though so remembering really is a bit of strain on my brain.
At my last prenatal I had gained 21 lbs, baby's heartbeat was in the 140's and 150's and I was measuring exactly on target. My blood pressure was almost non-existant. Now I just want to make sure I make it to 36 weeks so I can have the homebirth. I started gathering my supplies because I am just so dadgum excited about my labor! Seriously, most people seem to dread labor...I just can't wait.... most of the time anyway. Though I am not anxious for it to happen any time soon as I am still loving being preggo too much to actually "ruin" things by having a baby!
Belly shot is me at 30ish weeks.
Quick Catch Up
Reese in the kayak at the rivah
Us at Mt. Everest at Animal Kingdom...I did NOT ride this ride.
random family pic while waiting for a bus. Super B said I was crushing him when the pic was made b/c I was so big. Whatever!
I guess June was a busy month since I only managed to post once. So let me recap! We went to Disney World for a week, hung out with friends while there. Flew to Atlanta for a week to see my cousin and enjoyed seeing the teen drama that seems to be a part of having a teen in the household and also had a surprise visit from my brother and his fam. We all went to VBS at our church where I learned not much about God but more about crocodiles than I ever wanted to know. The whole family flew out to Virginia and then drove to the Chesapeake Bay for a long weekend at my family's river house and had a blast boating, crabbing, and getting cancer, I mean a tan. In the process we got stuck in multiple airports, had a lot of really good food (not at the airports though), I taught several childbirth classes, I took a childbirth course myself, the nursery cleaning was started and lots of family fun was had all around. Whew. Then came the 4th of July activities which included mostly a lot of sweat but good times as well and the requisite backyard cookout.
I can't even begin to post pics of everything but a few are at the top.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
27 Weeks and All is Well
I had my 27 week midwife appointment a bit ago. Have I mentioned how much I LOVE homevisits??? It just doesn't get better than having Donnellyn come to my house and chat with me on the couch and let W "help" take my blood pressure and listen for the baby's heart beat. Today he wanted to play with the lube (the stuff they use for the doppler, not some sex thing) so she squeezed a little on his hand and let him go for it. He got to wipe my belly too. I am really looking forward to the summer because the big kids can be involved and I think that will be helpful in getting them excited about meeting their new sibling.
Well anyway, everything looks great. I measure right on track, have great BP and baby sounds good. Baby is also already head down and she taught me how to feel the little head and tushie for myself. I also think after talking to Donnellyn that have made some decisions about hiring my birth photographer. Now I just need to figure out about finding a doula. Those crazy doulas!
My stats now:
weight gain: (*gasp* more than I gained with the others total!!!) 20lbs
measuring 26 weeks
feel great
BP 90/60
I promise belly pics up in the next few days!
Well anyway, everything looks great. I measure right on track, have great BP and baby sounds good. Baby is also already head down and she taught me how to feel the little head and tushie for myself. I also think after talking to Donnellyn that have made some decisions about hiring my birth photographer. Now I just need to figure out about finding a doula. Those crazy doulas!
My stats now:
weight gain: (*gasp* more than I gained with the others total!!!) 20lbs
measuring 26 weeks
feel great
BP 90/60
I promise belly pics up in the next few days!
Friday, May 29, 2009
What Kind Of Crazy Mom Gives Birth at Home?
Well me of course! I am very open about the fact that we are choosing to birth this baby at home and I have to admit, most people are very encouraging. Others are supportive, but ask why we would want to make this choice and express concern over my or the baby's safety. I really do appreciate that concern, heck I feel the same concern when I hear a friend is choosing various things at their birth. It is hard to not pass that concern along when we care about someone and no one means to be critical, myself included. As a doula and friend, I really want to support all women in having and making choices, but sometimes I admit, I just don't get why people choose what they choose. I expect that applies to people wondering about my choices as well, so I thought I would write a bit about why *I* am choosing to birth my baby at home.
At home, labor is allowed to progress normally and at its own pace without unnecessary intervention or time constraints. Homebirth careproviders and families see birth as a normal aspect of life, and not a sickness to be managed. Homebirth prevents the disruption of our household and our other children and it tends to make birth a family and spiritual affair rather than a medical event. At home, I can include whomever I desire for support and do not have to be cared for by strangers or walked in on by random hospital staff looking for other hospital staff. I can move as I desire, wear what I want, eat and drink what my body tells me to and trust God's design for my body.
But for all the wonderfulness of the previous paragraphs, I would not choose a homebirth if it was safer to be someplace else. Luckily, statistics constantly show that home is the safest place for normal healthy moms to have their babies (In my case, normal could be up for debate, but I am healthy!) . Midwives who provide home birth care have the lowest rates of interventions, including the lowest rate of cesarean surgery and episiotomy of any other care provider. (Fraser et al. 2000) In addition, mothers who give birth at home are less likely to suffer a birth related injury and are the least likely to have a post partum infection. Having had a birth injury myself during the birth of my first child, I don't consider that a small detail.
So what about the pain? Yes, it is true that I won't be able to choose an epidural at home unless I want to transfer. This is probably a good thing because I know ahead of time there will come a moment when I will consider an epidural a good idea. However, knowing that ahead of time, I can plan how I want to be supported during my labor and I will have access to anything and everything non-pharmaceuticaly related that I desire. I will have loving hands and loving hearts surrounding me, a warm tub, someone to bring me tea, rub my back and pray with me. One of the most spiritual experiences in all of life may be carrying and giving birth to a baby. How amazing to be a part of the Lord's ability to create...and how cool is it that he is sharing that ability with me! Growing and delivering a baby is amazing and a miracle - one I wish to experience completely and not one I want to numb or get through as quickly as possible.
I hope that helps explain our choice, and trust me, I am happy to listen to any of my friends, clients, family etc. explain why they are making the choices they make. Like I say on my doula publicity, informed choices make for amazing births. So the more women are talking...the better it is for everyone.
At home, labor is allowed to progress normally and at its own pace without unnecessary intervention or time constraints. Homebirth careproviders and families see birth as a normal aspect of life, and not a sickness to be managed. Homebirth prevents the disruption of our household and our other children and it tends to make birth a family and spiritual affair rather than a medical event. At home, I can include whomever I desire for support and do not have to be cared for by strangers or walked in on by random hospital staff looking for other hospital staff. I can move as I desire, wear what I want, eat and drink what my body tells me to and trust God's design for my body.
But for all the wonderfulness of the previous paragraphs, I would not choose a homebirth if it was safer to be someplace else. Luckily, statistics constantly show that home is the safest place for normal healthy moms to have their babies (In my case, normal could be up for debate, but I am healthy!) . Midwives who provide home birth care have the lowest rates of interventions, including the lowest rate of cesarean surgery and episiotomy of any other care provider. (Fraser et al. 2000) In addition, mothers who give birth at home are less likely to suffer a birth related injury and are the least likely to have a post partum infection. Having had a birth injury myself during the birth of my first child, I don't consider that a small detail.
So what about the pain? Yes, it is true that I won't be able to choose an epidural at home unless I want to transfer. This is probably a good thing because I know ahead of time there will come a moment when I will consider an epidural a good idea. However, knowing that ahead of time, I can plan how I want to be supported during my labor and I will have access to anything and everything non-pharmaceuticaly related that I desire. I will have loving hands and loving hearts surrounding me, a warm tub, someone to bring me tea, rub my back and pray with me. One of the most spiritual experiences in all of life may be carrying and giving birth to a baby. How amazing to be a part of the Lord's ability to create...and how cool is it that he is sharing that ability with me! Growing and delivering a baby is amazing and a miracle - one I wish to experience completely and not one I want to numb or get through as quickly as possible.
I hope that helps explain our choice, and trust me, I am happy to listen to any of my friends, clients, family etc. explain why they are making the choices they make. Like I say on my doula publicity, informed choices make for amazing births. So the more women are talking...the better it is for everyone.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
About That DC Trip
I mentioned our trip to Washington DC in a previous post so I thought I would write a bit about it beyond W's potty exploits. I think Super B has downloaded our pics so I will try to post some of those as well.
Basically the trip was about walking, at least that is what my body was saying at the end of each night! We walked a lot. Our hotel was awesome with an incredible breakfast (made to order omlettes each morning... mmmmmmm) and while it wasn't too far from anything, it wasn't exactly close either. On the first day, we went to Capitol Hill and the Air and Space Museum. Both were great and the kids actually seemed to enjoy the Capitol building tour, though not as much as seeing the rockets. My beef (literally) with the A & S museum was that the yummy restaurant that used to be there has been sold out to MacDonald's. Blech. I had to eat my first fast food in ages and after walking 10 miles to get there a Happy Meal did not make me happy. However, that is just a pregnant hungry lady whining, the kids loved the treat and non of us starved for the rest of the day.
The next day we went Smithsonian hopping. Basically the Natural History Museum and the American History Museum. Super B and I could have stayed all day at the American History museum but it was crowded and the kids were a little museumed out at that point. Plus the hotel pool was beckoning them. Before succumbing to the call of the pool we hit the Washington Memorial and walked by the White House. That was the first time I had walked by the White House and not seen protesters. Kind of sad for me having done my share of protests while living in DC. I even prepared Bean for seeing some and she was excited. I guess everyone really does love Obama. (?)
Our last day was a trip to the zoo and lots of riding on the subway, W's fav activity of the trip. Pandas were cool, otherwise it was a zoo. Zoos are good but a zoo is a zoo so not really many details need to be relayed about this one. We took the subway into Maryland so the kids could add another state to their growing tally and then rode to the airport where we had just enough time to grab a bite and jump on our flight. It was a great weekend but I crashed hard that night!
Basically the trip was about walking, at least that is what my body was saying at the end of each night! We walked a lot. Our hotel was awesome with an incredible breakfast (made to order omlettes each morning... mmmmmmm) and while it wasn't too far from anything, it wasn't exactly close either. On the first day, we went to Capitol Hill and the Air and Space Museum. Both were great and the kids actually seemed to enjoy the Capitol building tour, though not as much as seeing the rockets. My beef (literally) with the A & S museum was that the yummy restaurant that used to be there has been sold out to MacDonald's. Blech. I had to eat my first fast food in ages and after walking 10 miles to get there a Happy Meal did not make me happy. However, that is just a pregnant hungry lady whining, the kids loved the treat and non of us starved for the rest of the day.
The next day we went Smithsonian hopping. Basically the Natural History Museum and the American History Museum. Super B and I could have stayed all day at the American History museum but it was crowded and the kids were a little museumed out at that point. Plus the hotel pool was beckoning them. Before succumbing to the call of the pool we hit the Washington Memorial and walked by the White House. That was the first time I had walked by the White House and not seen protesters. Kind of sad for me having done my share of protests while living in DC. I even prepared Bean for seeing some and she was excited. I guess everyone really does love Obama. (?)
Our last day was a trip to the zoo and lots of riding on the subway, W's fav activity of the trip. Pandas were cool, otherwise it was a zoo. Zoos are good but a zoo is a zoo so not really many details need to be relayed about this one. We took the subway into Maryland so the kids could add another state to their growing tally and then rode to the airport where we had just enough time to grab a bite and jump on our flight. It was a great weekend but I crashed hard that night!
Potty Talk
My littlest guy is certainly cute, but a bit slow. He didn't roll over until he was 11 months, didn't walk until 17 months and is just starting to talk at age 3. Nothing wrong with him, just not the fastest little guy to catch on to things.
However, he just potty trained himself! I thought given his past record that there was a realistic chance that he would be in dipes until Kindergarten. But he started refusing to wear a diaper about a week ago and has been pottying without accident ever since. We even went to Washington DC this past weekend and he asked to use the potty at the Air and Space Museum, the Capitol building, the American History Museum, the Washington Memorial...well you get the picture. Pretty much everywhere. We didn't use a single diaper on the trip.
I am especially shocked given the fact that as of probably two weeks ago he had NEVER put his pee pee in the potty....amazing what they can do when they put their minds to it (and when they know it is really inconvenient time for mom and dad like a trip to Washington DC...)
However, he just potty trained himself! I thought given his past record that there was a realistic chance that he would be in dipes until Kindergarten. But he started refusing to wear a diaper about a week ago and has been pottying without accident ever since. We even went to Washington DC this past weekend and he asked to use the potty at the Air and Space Museum, the Capitol building, the American History Museum, the Washington Memorial...well you get the picture. Pretty much everywhere. We didn't use a single diaper on the trip.
I am especially shocked given the fact that as of probably two weeks ago he had NEVER put his pee pee in the potty....amazing what they can do when they put their minds to it (and when they know it is really inconvenient time for mom and dad like a trip to Washington DC...)
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Belly Shots!
front view at 24 weeks
side view at 24 weeks
side at 20 weeks (and a nice view of my messy bathroom and the tub where I probably will give birth)
side at 16 weeks
Heartbreaking Doula Experience
It has been a busy week of doulaing. but unfortunately not a great week of doulaing. Without going into too much detail (HIPPA and all that) I did a birth about a week ago that not only included a labor very far from what mom wanted but devastatingly worse than that, it resulted in a baby that I have been told will probably not survive.
Please note that I do not have any medical records from this birth and I am totally writing my thoughts, not factual questions as the medical aspects of all my clients' births are out of my scope of practice. However, I keep wondering if she had not been induced would the baby have lived? If the induction had been done closer to her due date would that have changed things? If the drug cytotec had not been used of if mom's water had not been artificially ruptured would that have made a difference? Or, am I as a doula who has read endless evidence to the fact that inductions bring often unnecessary risk into the birthing process, just biased and this baby was going to end up sick no matter what?
The thing that just makes me want to cry is that after the birth, which ultimately occurred via surgery, mom and baby were brought back to the room and the baby was cute and seemed just as healthy as could be. I helped mom learn to breastfeed then watched happily as the little baby drifted to sleep peacefully on her mom's breast and in her arms. Shortly after, baby still in mom's arms, the baby stopped breathing. As far as I know, those moments in her mom's arms were the only time this tiny, but much loved, human was nourished and cuddled by her mother. No one could have ever guessed that minutes later she would on a machine to keep her alive.
I did another birth, also an induction, a few days later and I will be going to another one any day now. I am sure over time I will be able to process what happened and use the experience to help me be a better doula in all situations. However, right now I just feel heartbreak for this family and I keep seeing the baby's little lips giving butterfly sucks on mom's nipple as she drifted to off to sleep.
Edited update: Baby L passed away about 10 days after her birth. I don't have the full info on why but my understanding is that baby acquired an infection around the time of birth. Since mom had a fever at the time she was admitted for the induction this may have created part of the problem. They may not ever have all the answers and knowing them would not change the sad outcome anyway.
Please note that I do not have any medical records from this birth and I am totally writing my thoughts, not factual questions as the medical aspects of all my clients' births are out of my scope of practice. However, I keep wondering if she had not been induced would the baby have lived? If the induction had been done closer to her due date would that have changed things? If the drug cytotec had not been used of if mom's water had not been artificially ruptured would that have made a difference? Or, am I as a doula who has read endless evidence to the fact that inductions bring often unnecessary risk into the birthing process, just biased and this baby was going to end up sick no matter what?
The thing that just makes me want to cry is that after the birth, which ultimately occurred via surgery, mom and baby were brought back to the room and the baby was cute and seemed just as healthy as could be. I helped mom learn to breastfeed then watched happily as the little baby drifted to sleep peacefully on her mom's breast and in her arms. Shortly after, baby still in mom's arms, the baby stopped breathing. As far as I know, those moments in her mom's arms were the only time this tiny, but much loved, human was nourished and cuddled by her mother. No one could have ever guessed that minutes later she would on a machine to keep her alive.
I did another birth, also an induction, a few days later and I will be going to another one any day now. I am sure over time I will be able to process what happened and use the experience to help me be a better doula in all situations. However, right now I just feel heartbreak for this family and I keep seeing the baby's little lips giving butterfly sucks on mom's nipple as she drifted to off to sleep.
Edited update: Baby L passed away about 10 days after her birth. I don't have the full info on why but my understanding is that baby acquired an infection around the time of birth. Since mom had a fever at the time she was admitted for the induction this may have created part of the problem. They may not ever have all the answers and knowing them would not change the sad outcome anyway.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Ain't Life Grand?
Seriously, life is good this week. I better write about it now, because honestly it may not be good next week, that is just how it goes right?
The sun came out and it is shorts weather. I love walking around in flip flops and shorts or sundresses. I also love to sleep in shorts and now I can! Very simple things make me happy I guess. It was also my birthday this week and that was fun. I didn't do much but I walked around thinking, "I am 37 years old and I have a baby in my belly." I was one of those ladies that thought she would never have kids past the dangerous age of 35 and then when I got over that notion I just thought I would never get pregnant again. When I blew out the candles on my cake I didn't know what to wish for this time because I have wished for a baby since I can remember...and my wish is coming true. I wished for a great home birth instead!
Super B also got a good job offer. He was set to lose his current job at the end of the summer and while I knew it would all work out, it was a bit unsettling to think about a new baby, 3 other kiddos and an unemployed spouse, especially in this lousy economy. However, he worked hard and found a new job and I am so proud of him. I also am very pleased to not have to give up a few extras that I like during the pregnancy....including someone who helps me clean the house once in a while and pricier healthy foods that I could replace with other stuff but that I really enjoy eating.
I also had 5 doula interviews last week and 3 of those couples hired me. I am looking forward to each one of them, including one in August since it will be my last one until November or December. The coolest part about that couple is that she is delivering with the same OB and hospital I used when I had Bean. It took 8 plus years, but it is all coming full circle.
So happy days for now, hope I can ride this wave a while.
The sun came out and it is shorts weather. I love walking around in flip flops and shorts or sundresses. I also love to sleep in shorts and now I can! Very simple things make me happy I guess. It was also my birthday this week and that was fun. I didn't do much but I walked around thinking, "I am 37 years old and I have a baby in my belly." I was one of those ladies that thought she would never have kids past the dangerous age of 35 and then when I got over that notion I just thought I would never get pregnant again. When I blew out the candles on my cake I didn't know what to wish for this time because I have wished for a baby since I can remember...and my wish is coming true. I wished for a great home birth instead!
Super B also got a good job offer. He was set to lose his current job at the end of the summer and while I knew it would all work out, it was a bit unsettling to think about a new baby, 3 other kiddos and an unemployed spouse, especially in this lousy economy. However, he worked hard and found a new job and I am so proud of him. I also am very pleased to not have to give up a few extras that I like during the pregnancy....including someone who helps me clean the house once in a while and pricier healthy foods that I could replace with other stuff but that I really enjoy eating.
I also had 5 doula interviews last week and 3 of those couples hired me. I am looking forward to each one of them, including one in August since it will be my last one until November or December. The coolest part about that couple is that she is delivering with the same OB and hospital I used when I had Bean. It took 8 plus years, but it is all coming full circle.
So happy days for now, hope I can ride this wave a while.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
20/21 Weeks
Since I seem to have time to blog today I guess I will write the latest details of my pregnancy.
First of all I feel fantastic! Once again all the happy hormones are rushing through my body and I feel like a million bucks. I am still in that weird time where I don't look pregnant but I don't fit into most of my clothes either. Super B would say I look like I need to do some sit ups. Maternity stuff is clownishly big on me so I can't say I look like a real fashion plate at the moment but I probably didn't look like one before pregnancy so I can live with that.
I had my 20 week sonogram a few days ago and I feel so blessed to say that the baby looked wonderful. No red flags for anything showed up and everything is where is should be so the home birth is definitely a go. Not bad for this advanced maternal aged mom! We did not officially find out the gender of this little one, though I really feel like I saw a penis floating by as the tech was measuring various things. However, I guess we will have to wait until August/September to find out how well I decipher what I see on sonos.
Other stats for 20/21 weeks:
weight gain: 9lbs
first charlie horse
feel baby move a lot
heart beat was in the 170s at my sono
baby weighed 11oz
haven't taken a belly shot in a while....
First of all I feel fantastic! Once again all the happy hormones are rushing through my body and I feel like a million bucks. I am still in that weird time where I don't look pregnant but I don't fit into most of my clothes either. Super B would say I look like I need to do some sit ups. Maternity stuff is clownishly big on me so I can't say I look like a real fashion plate at the moment but I probably didn't look like one before pregnancy so I can live with that.
I had my 20 week sonogram a few days ago and I feel so blessed to say that the baby looked wonderful. No red flags for anything showed up and everything is where is should be so the home birth is definitely a go. Not bad for this advanced maternal aged mom! We did not officially find out the gender of this little one, though I really feel like I saw a penis floating by as the tech was measuring various things. However, I guess we will have to wait until August/September to find out how well I decipher what I see on sonos.
Other stats for 20/21 weeks:
weight gain: 9lbs
first charlie horse
feel baby move a lot
heart beat was in the 170s at my sono
baby weighed 11oz
haven't taken a belly shot in a while....
Why Can't I Be Rich???
I discovered today what I would do it I were truly wealthy. Yes, I would give to the poor and yes, I would generally do good works to make the world a better place, but what I would also do with abandon is eat well. Really well...mushrooms that cost $20 well kind of well.
I went to Central Market today with my mom's group and we got a tour of the whole store. Those that know me know I love to eat and I really prefer healthy food and love veggies of all sorts. That place was heaven...and hell. I walked through the produce aisles and dreamed of stir fries and paellas, but there is no way my budget allows for eating the way my stomach leads me. And quite frankly, my kiddos are not going to start eating portabello burgers for dinner either even if I suddenly magically had the time to cook gourmet every night.
So instead, I will fantasize....if I had unlimited money I would eat fresh fish each night that was caught in Hawaii and shipped overnight to my local store. I would marinate in herbs I can't pronounce, use sea salt that is organic and hand harvested once a year on the full moon and eat fruits from Taiwan and New Zealand. Of course in my fantasy I would also have a cook or at least a sous chef to help me out too. It is a pretty good fantasy for someone who shops at Walmart most of the time.
I went to Central Market today with my mom's group and we got a tour of the whole store. Those that know me know I love to eat and I really prefer healthy food and love veggies of all sorts. That place was heaven...and hell. I walked through the produce aisles and dreamed of stir fries and paellas, but there is no way my budget allows for eating the way my stomach leads me. And quite frankly, my kiddos are not going to start eating portabello burgers for dinner either even if I suddenly magically had the time to cook gourmet every night.
So instead, I will fantasize....if I had unlimited money I would eat fresh fish each night that was caught in Hawaii and shipped overnight to my local store. I would marinate in herbs I can't pronounce, use sea salt that is organic and hand harvested once a year on the full moon and eat fruits from Taiwan and New Zealand. Of course in my fantasy I would also have a cook or at least a sous chef to help me out too. It is a pretty good fantasy for someone who shops at Walmart most of the time.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
She Chopped It Off
Bean donated her hair to Locks Of Love yesterday. Thought I would post the pics here! (before, during, after)
16 weeks/Semi-midwife Appointment
I had my first semi-midwife appointment yesterday. I say semi because I have not technically hired her yet, but I know I am and she went ahead and did all the regular prenatal appointment stuff after we finished our interview.
Can I just say, I LOVE having her come to my house. It is spring break and all the kiddos are home but I didn't have to worry about finding childcare. In fact, during the appointment a different kid was usually hanging out with us between running in and out of the house, and Bean got to help listen to the baby's heartbeat. It is also so much more....modest. She checked out my belly with me just sitting on the couch and unbuttoning my jeans a bit. No robes, no waiting in a cold room. no rushing. She actually stayed almost 2 hours. Furthermore, I just went into my potty, did my thing and dipped my own stick. I like that much better than having my little "sample" labeled and sitting around for all the world to see while waiting for a nurse to test it. Having someone unnecessarily touch my body fluids is slightly gross in my opinion.
So next week or the week after I will officially start my prenatal care with Donnellyn. There are so many great midwives in this area, it was a really hard choice. However, I think that she will be a good match for us, especially given some of the other circumstances going on in our life.
My basic pregnancy stats at 16 weeks:
weight-gained 2 lbs.
heart beat- 167
feeling no nausea, but still lots of aversions, belly pic taken and will be posted soon
Can I just say, I LOVE having her come to my house. It is spring break and all the kiddos are home but I didn't have to worry about finding childcare. In fact, during the appointment a different kid was usually hanging out with us between running in and out of the house, and Bean got to help listen to the baby's heartbeat. It is also so much more....modest. She checked out my belly with me just sitting on the couch and unbuttoning my jeans a bit. No robes, no waiting in a cold room. no rushing. She actually stayed almost 2 hours. Furthermore, I just went into my potty, did my thing and dipped my own stick. I like that much better than having my little "sample" labeled and sitting around for all the world to see while waiting for a nurse to test it. Having someone unnecessarily touch my body fluids is slightly gross in my opinion.
So next week or the week after I will officially start my prenatal care with Donnellyn. There are so many great midwives in this area, it was a really hard choice. However, I think that she will be a good match for us, especially given some of the other circumstances going on in our life.
My basic pregnancy stats at 16 weeks:
weight-gained 2 lbs.
heart beat- 167
feeling no nausea, but still lots of aversions, belly pic taken and will be posted soon
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Staging My Recovery
I am definitely better, woo hoo! I don't feel like a million bucks yet, but maybe like $100. Trust me, I was in a deficit before so this is good.
Today I am starting to stage my "comeback". First business to attend... coloring my hair. Seriously, I am now 14 weeks pregnant and 10 plus weeks of unchecked gray growth had led to some serious hair issues. I deeply apologize for those of you that might read this and be against pregnant women using hair dye, or shocked at the fact I color at all. I may be of "advanced maternal age" but I see no reason why I should look it by sporting a full head of gray hair, pregnant or not.
Second goal, shave leg hair. Once again, 8 weeks of leg hair is not a look I want long term. (And no, there are no health risks that prevented shaving, I was just too sick to stand up long enough to shave all those weeks.) This task did not go as well. I got in the shower, washed out my hair dye then started to shave. However my hair is so nasty thick and long that my shaver immediately broke, and it was the last one I had at the house. I did use Super B's electric shaver once I got out and that bush whacked things a little, but there is still some improvement to be made.
So now me and my pretty hair and (semi) shaved legs are about to finish my last goal of the day which is starting to pick up my room. It is obscene in there, but I hope to make some progress in creating paths through the piles of junk.
Today I am starting to stage my "comeback". First business to attend... coloring my hair. Seriously, I am now 14 weeks pregnant and 10 plus weeks of unchecked gray growth had led to some serious hair issues. I deeply apologize for those of you that might read this and be against pregnant women using hair dye, or shocked at the fact I color at all. I may be of "advanced maternal age" but I see no reason why I should look it by sporting a full head of gray hair, pregnant or not.
Second goal, shave leg hair. Once again, 8 weeks of leg hair is not a look I want long term. (And no, there are no health risks that prevented shaving, I was just too sick to stand up long enough to shave all those weeks.) This task did not go as well. I got in the shower, washed out my hair dye then started to shave. However my hair is so nasty thick and long that my shaver immediately broke, and it was the last one I had at the house. I did use Super B's electric shaver once I got out and that bush whacked things a little, but there is still some improvement to be made.
So now me and my pretty hair and (semi) shaved legs are about to finish my last goal of the day which is starting to pick up my room. It is obscene in there, but I hope to make some progress in creating paths through the piles of junk.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Great Editorial
Excerpt from an article in The Journal of Obstetric, Gynecological and Neo Natal Nursing, Published Jan.21, 2009 (bolding is mine, the stuff I really dig!)
...."I was born in the United States and I am very proud to be an American, but I am embarrassed that our country founded on the ideals of individual liberty and freedom, can also support "authoritative" initiatives such as these by the ACOG and AMA, initiatives that are founded on neither science nor an understanding of the physiologic and psychosocial needs of mothers and babies. What is most risky about home birth in the United States is that for most women who desire it there is a scarcity of qualified providers of home birth services. There is no system of care that provides the needed safety net if transfer to a different type of care is required during labor. Rather, women who desire to birth at home sometimes chose providers unwisely, and those who require transfer are often treated with disdain and disregard as though their decision to give birth outside the hospital system is irresponsible, reckless, and perhaps immoral. There is nothing more inhumane or uninformed than this attitude toward women who desire to birth at home and the qualified providers who are willing to attend them.
When will we remember that pregnancy, childbirth, and lactation are normal healthy physiological processes that are a continuum and do not require medical intervention unless there is a medical problem? A woman's body and the physiology of pregnancy, labor, birth, and lactation are designed to promote the well-being of the fetus and newborn. When will we establish optimal outcomes as the goal of health care during the childbearing cycle, rather than attempting to reduce by small increments the incidence of morbidity and mortality that is compounded by the very interventions we use to attempt to avoid such problems? We all know that in our current health care milieu for childbearing women, the protection of normal is not valued or supported, except in a very few locales. Those who support normalcy are usually swimming upstream against a system that treats every laboring woman as a surgical case. The idea that a normal spontaneous birth is by design the best outcome for a healthy woman and her infant is neither believed nor entertained as a basic concept. Most U.S.-trained physicians and sadly most U.S.-trained nurses have minimal experience with normal labor and birth. Without fetal monitors, intravenous lines, infusion pumps, epidurals, pitocin, endless charting, and rules theses individuals are helpless and unskilled to provide the kind of informed human support and wise guidance that a laboring woman needs while the normal process of labor and birth unfolds.
Why do 1% to 2% of U.S. women even want to birth at home? For most it is simply because they sincerely believe that the process is normal and healthy and does not require the environment of an "illness" system to support it. For these women, birth has a unique, earthy, and frequently spiritual component that they want to experience fully under their own terms. They want to actively labor and birth, rather than to have labor happen to them, give over control to a system and people with their own rules, and be delivered of their babies. Some desire home birth because of the subculture of their religious communities, while others are overtly afraid of what may happen to them in the hospital. They may be "on the edge" of the allopathic medical system and be very resistant to interventions that the system thinks are in their best interest. Does this make them wrong? No, it simply means that the system is not meeting their needs for holistic care that supports normalcy. ....
.... The primary danger is that the "system" does not support this choice. To pretend that a normal healthy woman cannot give birth safely without the trappings of a U.S. hospital is not only audacious but also uninformed. Perhaps it is time for a new woman's movement, one that embraces the normalcy of childbirth and puts mothers and babies back on the center stage rather than the system's need to defend the interventionist subculture it has developed and that it must financially support. This system has not improved outcomes for mothers or babies while the cost of care has continued to escalate keeping pace with unnecessary intervention. The recent initiatives of our medical colleagues, the "authorities," simply highlight the painful reality that the "Emperor has no clothes!"
...."I was born in the United States and I am very proud to be an American, but I am embarrassed that our country founded on the ideals of individual liberty and freedom, can also support "authoritative" initiatives such as these by the ACOG and AMA, initiatives that are founded on neither science nor an understanding of the physiologic and psychosocial needs of mothers and babies. What is most risky about home birth in the United States is that for most women who desire it there is a scarcity of qualified providers of home birth services. There is no system of care that provides the needed safety net if transfer to a different type of care is required during labor. Rather, women who desire to birth at home sometimes chose providers unwisely, and those who require transfer are often treated with disdain and disregard as though their decision to give birth outside the hospital system is irresponsible, reckless, and perhaps immoral. There is nothing more inhumane or uninformed than this attitude toward women who desire to birth at home and the qualified providers who are willing to attend them.
When will we remember that pregnancy, childbirth, and lactation are normal healthy physiological processes that are a continuum and do not require medical intervention unless there is a medical problem? A woman's body and the physiology of pregnancy, labor, birth, and lactation are designed to promote the well-being of the fetus and newborn. When will we establish optimal outcomes as the goal of health care during the childbearing cycle, rather than attempting to reduce by small increments the incidence of morbidity and mortality that is compounded by the very interventions we use to attempt to avoid such problems? We all know that in our current health care milieu for childbearing women, the protection of normal is not valued or supported, except in a very few locales. Those who support normalcy are usually swimming upstream against a system that treats every laboring woman as a surgical case. The idea that a normal spontaneous birth is by design the best outcome for a healthy woman and her infant is neither believed nor entertained as a basic concept. Most U.S.-trained physicians and sadly most U.S.-trained nurses have minimal experience with normal labor and birth. Without fetal monitors, intravenous lines, infusion pumps, epidurals, pitocin, endless charting, and rules theses individuals are helpless and unskilled to provide the kind of informed human support and wise guidance that a laboring woman needs while the normal process of labor and birth unfolds.
Why do 1% to 2% of U.S. women even want to birth at home? For most it is simply because they sincerely believe that the process is normal and healthy and does not require the environment of an "illness" system to support it. For these women, birth has a unique, earthy, and frequently spiritual component that they want to experience fully under their own terms. They want to actively labor and birth, rather than to have labor happen to them, give over control to a system and people with their own rules, and be delivered of their babies. Some desire home birth because of the subculture of their religious communities, while others are overtly afraid of what may happen to them in the hospital. They may be "on the edge" of the allopathic medical system and be very resistant to interventions that the system thinks are in their best interest. Does this make them wrong? No, it simply means that the system is not meeting their needs for holistic care that supports normalcy. ....
.... The primary danger is that the "system" does not support this choice. To pretend that a normal healthy woman cannot give birth safely without the trappings of a U.S. hospital is not only audacious but also uninformed. Perhaps it is time for a new woman's movement, one that embraces the normalcy of childbirth and puts mothers and babies back on the center stage rather than the system's need to defend the interventionist subculture it has developed and that it must financially support. This system has not improved outcomes for mothers or babies while the cost of care has continued to escalate keeping pace with unnecessary intervention. The recent initiatives of our medical colleagues, the "authorities," simply highlight the painful reality that the "Emperor has no clothes!"
I did it, I got out of bed!
I just have to say, yesterday was one of those days that are a little crazy during the best of times, but seriously un-fun when, like me, you are not living in the best of times. But we are all here and in one piece so I guess the old adage that all's well that ends well still holds true.
Super B went out of town for business which left me the major obstacle of getting my kids to everywhere my kids needed to go, all while trying not to vomit in public. It just so happened that R had a soccer practice, and Bean had a soccer game. The lady who was assigned to bring me food for the day needed to reschedule and I needed to teach the second half of a long overdue childbirth class. (you know you can only put off those childbirth classes so long....) R also upped the ante by losing a tooth, so the tooth fairy also was called upon to make an appearance.
I can't say it was my most graceful day of parenting, but I am happy to say that everyone made it to where they needed to go, the class was taught (and I actually enjoyed myself teaching it), and I only misplaced Woo once at the soccer fields. I could not have done it if Super B had not gone by a local restaurant and bought 3 meals for me to eat during the day. Since I cannot do any cooking I was able to just eat out of my Styrofoam takeout boxes to avoid the extra ickiness that comes with an even slightly empty tummy. When he got back this afternoon, he stopped by from the airport and brought be another meal to help me last until tonight's meal arrives from a friend. What a sweet man....take-out is far better than flowers in my book!
So yay, I did it...but I hope before Super B's next trip I will be fully on the mend!
Super B went out of town for business which left me the major obstacle of getting my kids to everywhere my kids needed to go, all while trying not to vomit in public. It just so happened that R had a soccer practice, and Bean had a soccer game. The lady who was assigned to bring me food for the day needed to reschedule and I needed to teach the second half of a long overdue childbirth class. (you know you can only put off those childbirth classes so long....) R also upped the ante by losing a tooth, so the tooth fairy also was called upon to make an appearance.
I can't say it was my most graceful day of parenting, but I am happy to say that everyone made it to where they needed to go, the class was taught (and I actually enjoyed myself teaching it), and I only misplaced Woo once at the soccer fields. I could not have done it if Super B had not gone by a local restaurant and bought 3 meals for me to eat during the day. Since I cannot do any cooking I was able to just eat out of my Styrofoam takeout boxes to avoid the extra ickiness that comes with an even slightly empty tummy. When he got back this afternoon, he stopped by from the airport and brought be another meal to help me last until tonight's meal arrives from a friend. What a sweet man....take-out is far better than flowers in my book!
So yay, I did it...but I hope before Super B's next trip I will be fully on the mend!
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Attitude Adjustment
I am giving myself an attitude adjustment, and goodness knows it is about time. This change is not just made possible by two consecutive days that have been vomit free, but also because I am sick of my own whining. As my family is all at church, I am also realizing I am not only missing life in general but the fellowship and worship that I need each week (each day really) to feel God's encouragement. This morning while laying around I have been listening to some great praise music and adjusting my attitude.
I AM PREGNANT, I AM NOT DYING. Life is very, very good. Ok, head on correctly again.
So, in these last few weeks of my personal isolation, things have been happening to others in my family. Today is W's third birthday. Hard to believe. What a blessing he has been to our family these last few years. At this stage he is so even tempered and happy. He loves everything and everyone and is just cute, cute, cute. His speech is coming along, though he certainly isn't breaking any records for speech acquisition. He says "love you too" all the time and comes up to hug me. He also started calling people (ok mainly his brother and sister) mean, when they don't cooperate with him, which is a lot of the time.
I admit I am not doing anything for his birthday today, not even a cake. But I won't whine about that, I will just plan to do it in a few weeks when I feel better. He and his three year old cohorts will not mind eating cake a few weeks after the real birthday. In fact, while Wes is a bit slow, I don't think any of his friends can actually distinguish between February and March.
I AM PREGNANT, I AM NOT DYING. Life is very, very good. Ok, head on correctly again.
So, in these last few weeks of my personal isolation, things have been happening to others in my family. Today is W's third birthday. Hard to believe. What a blessing he has been to our family these last few years. At this stage he is so even tempered and happy. He loves everything and everyone and is just cute, cute, cute. His speech is coming along, though he certainly isn't breaking any records for speech acquisition. He says "love you too" all the time and comes up to hug me. He also started calling people (ok mainly his brother and sister) mean, when they don't cooperate with him, which is a lot of the time.
I admit I am not doing anything for his birthday today, not even a cake. But I won't whine about that, I will just plan to do it in a few weeks when I feel better. He and his three year old cohorts will not mind eating cake a few weeks after the real birthday. In fact, while Wes is a bit slow, I don't think any of his friends can actually distinguish between February and March.
Friday, February 20, 2009
One good day then BOOM
So earlier this week I had a good day. I woke up not feeling an overwhelming urge to vomit, I pleasantly read the paper and then sat out in the sun for a bit. I even talked on the phone and told my friends I thought maybe I had turned the corner.
WRONG. The next two days have been some of the worst I have had and I feel I am back to total dehydration. Just call me raisin girl.
Can I also say that reading the Wall Street Journal each day is not adding to my overall state of mental health? While my life has been reduced to the walls of my bedroom, when I read the paper I am learning that apparently the world outside my four walls is falling apart, and quickly. Seems like life stinks for me and about everyone else in different ways. It is enough to make me dig deeper under my covers and plan to never come out, even if I should one day actually feel normal again. (which I am starting to believe will never happen anyway)
WRONG. The next two days have been some of the worst I have had and I feel I am back to total dehydration. Just call me raisin girl.
Can I also say that reading the Wall Street Journal each day is not adding to my overall state of mental health? While my life has been reduced to the walls of my bedroom, when I read the paper I am learning that apparently the world outside my four walls is falling apart, and quickly. Seems like life stinks for me and about everyone else in different ways. It is enough to make me dig deeper under my covers and plan to never come out, even if I should one day actually feel normal again. (which I am starting to believe will never happen anyway)
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
My Nausea Vacation
I have been stubborn, I admit it. My plan is to give birth at home with a midwife. No interventions just me, my baby and my body doing what it is designed for. However, my "beautiful" plan did not include being too sick to interview and choose a midwife in the first trimester, nor did it include a fight with my insurance company. It also did not include a trip to an OB.
So here I am at around 12 weeks, puking my guts up and wishing I were dead, and my husband about to grant me that wish as he is fed up with me not seeing an OB, or midwife for that matter. And you know what he was right. I have always said I will choose to have my pregnancy and birth overseen by the careprovider that I feel can provide the best outcomes for me and the baby. That careprovider is generally speaking a midwife, however, right now I needed some extra help. Super B literally called my old OB and dragged me kicking and screaming into her office.
You would have thought my sweet OB was brandishing a shotgun as she approached me with that sono wand the way I was blubbering and carrying on. It just felt so wrong to be getting a sono, to be naked under a sheet at a place I had not planned on going to this time. Of course then she stuck that wand in and there was my gorgeous baby wiggling away. Tears of another sort started to flow. I can't believe it, I am really pregnant!!!! There is a baby in there! She said the amniotic fluid was OK, so while I need to keep trying to get fluids in, I can avoid a lovely stay at hotel Las Colinas hospital.
She did a short scan, with me trying to keep it shorter. She also did a nuchal thickness test without asking me. At first that made me angry, but it is hard to stay mad when she said it looked great. I would have never gotten that test on my own, I don't do any of the genetic tests with my pregnancies, but ummm, well it is nice to know that for the most part Down Syndrome is not an issue, especially since I am in the magic zone that OB's like to call Advanced Maternal Age (insert scary music). So much for informed consent though.
So onto, the real reason for posting, my nausea vacation. OB wrote me a script for some meds...and I took them. I slept for 12 hours (minus a few quick potty trips) without getting up to puke in the night. I cannot take this drug in the day, since it turns me into a zombie. However, I will be taking nausea vacations every night until I feel better. Do I feel guilty for this. Heck no. LOVE the nausea vacation. Can't wait until tonight when I can pop the next one in.
New goal, midwife hired by 16 weeks.
So here I am at around 12 weeks, puking my guts up and wishing I were dead, and my husband about to grant me that wish as he is fed up with me not seeing an OB, or midwife for that matter. And you know what he was right. I have always said I will choose to have my pregnancy and birth overseen by the careprovider that I feel can provide the best outcomes for me and the baby. That careprovider is generally speaking a midwife, however, right now I needed some extra help. Super B literally called my old OB and dragged me kicking and screaming into her office.
You would have thought my sweet OB was brandishing a shotgun as she approached me with that sono wand the way I was blubbering and carrying on. It just felt so wrong to be getting a sono, to be naked under a sheet at a place I had not planned on going to this time. Of course then she stuck that wand in and there was my gorgeous baby wiggling away. Tears of another sort started to flow. I can't believe it, I am really pregnant!!!! There is a baby in there! She said the amniotic fluid was OK, so while I need to keep trying to get fluids in, I can avoid a lovely stay at hotel Las Colinas hospital.
She did a short scan, with me trying to keep it shorter. She also did a nuchal thickness test without asking me. At first that made me angry, but it is hard to stay mad when she said it looked great. I would have never gotten that test on my own, I don't do any of the genetic tests with my pregnancies, but ummm, well it is nice to know that for the most part Down Syndrome is not an issue, especially since I am in the magic zone that OB's like to call Advanced Maternal Age (insert scary music). So much for informed consent though.
So onto, the real reason for posting, my nausea vacation. OB wrote me a script for some meds...and I took them. I slept for 12 hours (minus a few quick potty trips) without getting up to puke in the night. I cannot take this drug in the day, since it turns me into a zombie. However, I will be taking nausea vacations every night until I feel better. Do I feel guilty for this. Heck no. LOVE the nausea vacation. Can't wait until tonight when I can pop the next one in.
New goal, midwife hired by 16 weeks.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
my really bad life
So, I am pregnant. You would think I would be thrilled after all the whining I have done the past few years about wanting another baby. Alas, I am not thrilled...at least not now. Instead I am ill. Really ill. Since about 7 weeks pregnant I have been unable to eat or drink normally. I constantly feel I am on the verge of throwing up and about half the time I do. Throwing up brings no relief, just the general unpleasantness that throwing up brings. Food has become my arch enemy, nothing sounds or tastes good and I have to force myself to eat anything.
Drinking is even more antagonizing. Just typing the word water is making me dry heave as I type. My battle with drinking started with just the inability to look at, smell or be around water. I was able to drink grapefruit juice and lemonade though so I stayed hydrated. Those quickly become forbidden and then I tried Gatoraide as I had been able to drink that in previous pregnancies. Nope, one sip and my dream of drinking Gatoraide ended. OJ worked for a while but that too no longer stays down. The only thing I can drink now is mint herb tea and I see that relationship ending soon.
Honestly, I am thinking of going into the ER for fluids. My nose is bleeding constantly due to dryness, my lips are chapped and I can barely swallow b/c my mouth is so dry. Not to mention my blood pressure is obviously low since I can no longer stand without starting to faint. Needless to say, I have not left my bed in weeks except for a few brief outings.
So no, I am not at all pleased to be pregnant. My life is a living hell. I am 11 weeks and 3 days today. I hope I can hang on for a few more weeks....
Drinking is even more antagonizing. Just typing the word water is making me dry heave as I type. My battle with drinking started with just the inability to look at, smell or be around water. I was able to drink grapefruit juice and lemonade though so I stayed hydrated. Those quickly become forbidden and then I tried Gatoraide as I had been able to drink that in previous pregnancies. Nope, one sip and my dream of drinking Gatoraide ended. OJ worked for a while but that too no longer stays down. The only thing I can drink now is mint herb tea and I see that relationship ending soon.
Honestly, I am thinking of going into the ER for fluids. My nose is bleeding constantly due to dryness, my lips are chapped and I can barely swallow b/c my mouth is so dry. Not to mention my blood pressure is obviously low since I can no longer stand without starting to faint. Needless to say, I have not left my bed in weeks except for a few brief outings.
So no, I am not at all pleased to be pregnant. My life is a living hell. I am 11 weeks and 3 days today. I hope I can hang on for a few more weeks....
Friday, February 6, 2009
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Me on the News
Don't know how long this will stay on line, but for now here is me on the news:
and here is my facebook profile pic I used:
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