Well me of course! I am very open about the fact that we are choosing to birth this baby at home and I have to admit, most people are very encouraging. Others are supportive, but ask why we would want to make this choice and express concern over my or the baby's safety. I really do appreciate that concern, heck I feel the same concern when I hear a friend is choosing various things at their birth. It is hard to not pass that concern along when we care about someone and no one means to be critical, myself included. As a doula and friend, I really want to support all women in having and making choices, but sometimes I admit, I just don't get why people choose what they choose. I expect that applies to people wondering about my choices as well, so I thought I would write a bit about why *I* am choosing to birth my baby at home.
At home, labor is allowed to progress normally and at its own pace without unnecessary intervention or time constraints. Homebirth careproviders and families see birth as a normal aspect of life, and not a sickness to be managed. Homebirth prevents the disruption of our household and our other children and it tends to make birth a family and spiritual affair rather than a medical event. At home, I can include whomever I desire for support and do not have to be cared for by strangers or walked in on by random hospital staff looking for other hospital staff. I can move as I desire, wear what I want, eat and drink what my body tells me to and trust God's design for my body.
But for all the wonderfulness of the previous paragraphs, I would not choose a homebirth if it was safer to be someplace else. Luckily, statistics constantly show that home is the safest place for normal healthy moms to have their babies (In my case, normal could be up for debate, but I am healthy!) . Midwives who provide home birth care have the lowest rates of interventions, including the lowest rate of cesarean surgery and episiotomy of any other care provider. (Fraser et al. 2000) In addition, mothers who give birth at home are less likely to suffer a birth related injury and are the least likely to have a post partum infection. Having had a birth injury myself during the birth of my first child, I don't consider that a small detail.
So what about the pain? Yes, it is true that I won't be able to choose an epidural at home unless I want to transfer. This is probably a good thing because I know ahead of time there will come a moment when I will consider an epidural a good idea. However, knowing that ahead of time, I can plan how I want to be supported during my labor and I will have access to anything and everything non-pharmaceuticaly related that I desire. I will have loving hands and loving hearts surrounding me, a warm tub, someone to bring me tea, rub my back and pray with me. One of the most spiritual experiences in all of life may be carrying and giving birth to a baby. How amazing to be a part of the Lord's ability to create...and how cool is it that he is sharing that ability with me! Growing and delivering a baby is amazing and a miracle - one I wish to experience completely and not one I want to numb or get through as quickly as possible.
I hope that helps explain our choice, and trust me, I am happy to listen to any of my friends, clients, family etc. explain why they are making the choices they make. Like I say on my doula publicity, informed choices make for amazing births. So the more women are talking...the better it is for everyone.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
About That DC Trip
I mentioned our trip to Washington DC in a previous post so I thought I would write a bit about it beyond W's potty exploits. I think Super B has downloaded our pics so I will try to post some of those as well.
Basically the trip was about walking, at least that is what my body was saying at the end of each night! We walked a lot. Our hotel was awesome with an incredible breakfast (made to order omlettes each morning... mmmmmmm) and while it wasn't too far from anything, it wasn't exactly close either. On the first day, we went to Capitol Hill and the Air and Space Museum. Both were great and the kids actually seemed to enjoy the Capitol building tour, though not as much as seeing the rockets. My beef (literally) with the A & S museum was that the yummy restaurant that used to be there has been sold out to MacDonald's. Blech. I had to eat my first fast food in ages and after walking 10 miles to get there a Happy Meal did not make me happy. However, that is just a pregnant hungry lady whining, the kids loved the treat and non of us starved for the rest of the day.
The next day we went Smithsonian hopping. Basically the Natural History Museum and the American History Museum. Super B and I could have stayed all day at the American History museum but it was crowded and the kids were a little museumed out at that point. Plus the hotel pool was beckoning them. Before succumbing to the call of the pool we hit the Washington Memorial and walked by the White House. That was the first time I had walked by the White House and not seen protesters. Kind of sad for me having done my share of protests while living in DC. I even prepared Bean for seeing some and she was excited. I guess everyone really does love Obama. (?)
Our last day was a trip to the zoo and lots of riding on the subway, W's fav activity of the trip. Pandas were cool, otherwise it was a zoo. Zoos are good but a zoo is a zoo so not really many details need to be relayed about this one. We took the subway into Maryland so the kids could add another state to their growing tally and then rode to the airport where we had just enough time to grab a bite and jump on our flight. It was a great weekend but I crashed hard that night!
Basically the trip was about walking, at least that is what my body was saying at the end of each night! We walked a lot. Our hotel was awesome with an incredible breakfast (made to order omlettes each morning... mmmmmmm) and while it wasn't too far from anything, it wasn't exactly close either. On the first day, we went to Capitol Hill and the Air and Space Museum. Both were great and the kids actually seemed to enjoy the Capitol building tour, though not as much as seeing the rockets. My beef (literally) with the A & S museum was that the yummy restaurant that used to be there has been sold out to MacDonald's. Blech. I had to eat my first fast food in ages and after walking 10 miles to get there a Happy Meal did not make me happy. However, that is just a pregnant hungry lady whining, the kids loved the treat and non of us starved for the rest of the day.
The next day we went Smithsonian hopping. Basically the Natural History Museum and the American History Museum. Super B and I could have stayed all day at the American History museum but it was crowded and the kids were a little museumed out at that point. Plus the hotel pool was beckoning them. Before succumbing to the call of the pool we hit the Washington Memorial and walked by the White House. That was the first time I had walked by the White House and not seen protesters. Kind of sad for me having done my share of protests while living in DC. I even prepared Bean for seeing some and she was excited. I guess everyone really does love Obama. (?)
Our last day was a trip to the zoo and lots of riding on the subway, W's fav activity of the trip. Pandas were cool, otherwise it was a zoo. Zoos are good but a zoo is a zoo so not really many details need to be relayed about this one. We took the subway into Maryland so the kids could add another state to their growing tally and then rode to the airport where we had just enough time to grab a bite and jump on our flight. It was a great weekend but I crashed hard that night!
Potty Talk
My littlest guy is certainly cute, but a bit slow. He didn't roll over until he was 11 months, didn't walk until 17 months and is just starting to talk at age 3. Nothing wrong with him, just not the fastest little guy to catch on to things.
However, he just potty trained himself! I thought given his past record that there was a realistic chance that he would be in dipes until Kindergarten. But he started refusing to wear a diaper about a week ago and has been pottying without accident ever since. We even went to Washington DC this past weekend and he asked to use the potty at the Air and Space Museum, the Capitol building, the American History Museum, the Washington Memorial...well you get the picture. Pretty much everywhere. We didn't use a single diaper on the trip.
I am especially shocked given the fact that as of probably two weeks ago he had NEVER put his pee pee in the potty....amazing what they can do when they put their minds to it (and when they know it is really inconvenient time for mom and dad like a trip to Washington DC...)
However, he just potty trained himself! I thought given his past record that there was a realistic chance that he would be in dipes until Kindergarten. But he started refusing to wear a diaper about a week ago and has been pottying without accident ever since. We even went to Washington DC this past weekend and he asked to use the potty at the Air and Space Museum, the Capitol building, the American History Museum, the Washington Memorial...well you get the picture. Pretty much everywhere. We didn't use a single diaper on the trip.
I am especially shocked given the fact that as of probably two weeks ago he had NEVER put his pee pee in the potty....amazing what they can do when they put their minds to it (and when they know it is really inconvenient time for mom and dad like a trip to Washington DC...)
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Belly Shots!
front view at 24 weeks
side view at 24 weeks
side at 20 weeks (and a nice view of my messy bathroom and the tub where I probably will give birth)
side at 16 weeks
Heartbreaking Doula Experience
It has been a busy week of doulaing. but unfortunately not a great week of doulaing. Without going into too much detail (HIPPA and all that) I did a birth about a week ago that not only included a labor very far from what mom wanted but devastatingly worse than that, it resulted in a baby that I have been told will probably not survive.
Please note that I do not have any medical records from this birth and I am totally writing my thoughts, not factual questions as the medical aspects of all my clients' births are out of my scope of practice. However, I keep wondering if she had not been induced would the baby have lived? If the induction had been done closer to her due date would that have changed things? If the drug cytotec had not been used of if mom's water had not been artificially ruptured would that have made a difference? Or, am I as a doula who has read endless evidence to the fact that inductions bring often unnecessary risk into the birthing process, just biased and this baby was going to end up sick no matter what?
The thing that just makes me want to cry is that after the birth, which ultimately occurred via surgery, mom and baby were brought back to the room and the baby was cute and seemed just as healthy as could be. I helped mom learn to breastfeed then watched happily as the little baby drifted to sleep peacefully on her mom's breast and in her arms. Shortly after, baby still in mom's arms, the baby stopped breathing. As far as I know, those moments in her mom's arms were the only time this tiny, but much loved, human was nourished and cuddled by her mother. No one could have ever guessed that minutes later she would on a machine to keep her alive.
I did another birth, also an induction, a few days later and I will be going to another one any day now. I am sure over time I will be able to process what happened and use the experience to help me be a better doula in all situations. However, right now I just feel heartbreak for this family and I keep seeing the baby's little lips giving butterfly sucks on mom's nipple as she drifted to off to sleep.
Edited update: Baby L passed away about 10 days after her birth. I don't have the full info on why but my understanding is that baby acquired an infection around the time of birth. Since mom had a fever at the time she was admitted for the induction this may have created part of the problem. They may not ever have all the answers and knowing them would not change the sad outcome anyway.
Please note that I do not have any medical records from this birth and I am totally writing my thoughts, not factual questions as the medical aspects of all my clients' births are out of my scope of practice. However, I keep wondering if she had not been induced would the baby have lived? If the induction had been done closer to her due date would that have changed things? If the drug cytotec had not been used of if mom's water had not been artificially ruptured would that have made a difference? Or, am I as a doula who has read endless evidence to the fact that inductions bring often unnecessary risk into the birthing process, just biased and this baby was going to end up sick no matter what?
The thing that just makes me want to cry is that after the birth, which ultimately occurred via surgery, mom and baby were brought back to the room and the baby was cute and seemed just as healthy as could be. I helped mom learn to breastfeed then watched happily as the little baby drifted to sleep peacefully on her mom's breast and in her arms. Shortly after, baby still in mom's arms, the baby stopped breathing. As far as I know, those moments in her mom's arms were the only time this tiny, but much loved, human was nourished and cuddled by her mother. No one could have ever guessed that minutes later she would on a machine to keep her alive.
I did another birth, also an induction, a few days later and I will be going to another one any day now. I am sure over time I will be able to process what happened and use the experience to help me be a better doula in all situations. However, right now I just feel heartbreak for this family and I keep seeing the baby's little lips giving butterfly sucks on mom's nipple as she drifted to off to sleep.
Edited update: Baby L passed away about 10 days after her birth. I don't have the full info on why but my understanding is that baby acquired an infection around the time of birth. Since mom had a fever at the time she was admitted for the induction this may have created part of the problem. They may not ever have all the answers and knowing them would not change the sad outcome anyway.
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