You Get What You Need?

In the last few weeks I have really been pondering the idea of God meeting our needs. Is it true or does it just make us feel better to think so?

Now don't get me wrong, I beleive God will give us what we need...basically salvation. But apart from that I have decided that no, he won't, at least not all the time. Maybe even not most of the time.

I don't normally think all that negatively, so why are these thoughts even floating around my head? I have recently heard fellow Christians make the comment "I guess God just thought we needed that" or "God knew we needed such and such even when we didn't". I think right now it just sounds so hollow to me.

I remember that for every person Jesus healed, there were thousands of people that were not. If those that were healed walked around the unhealed stating that God knew what they needed and that is why they were healed, how would that make the unhealed feel? Does God not know what they need too? Christians starve everyday, Christians are tortured everyday. Clearly God doesn't meet our physical needs. Yet Christians I meet routinely proclaim stories that God met their needs by providing a friend, a good parking spot or a good deal a garage sale, etc.

I will make this more personal because I think that is the only way to tie this all together. I had a miscarriage over spring break and those of you who have read this blog or know me, know I very much want another child. Just last week another Chrisitan, whom is really a lovely person, spent a great deal of time telling me how God gave her a surprise child because God must have known she needed it. Honestly, her testimony did not help me see the glory of God, it made me feel ignored by God. I have longed for another child for years but if her logic is correct God must know I don't need another child. ( Which perhaps may be be true given my parenting skills with the ones I have, but I guess that is another story!)

I prefer to think God is just as sad as I am about the miscarriage and my inablility to have another child. I prefer not to think God doesn't care about my needs. I prefer not to be told that God cared about someone else and not me and my baby.

So maybe that is what this boils down to. I am the unhealed walking around with the healed. I am the sick leper back at the camp while the healed lepers are walking and leaping and praising God. It doesn't feel great to be the unhealed listening to the healed.