Ba humbug

I got my first Christmas letter today and soon I will be receiving several every day. So in order to prepare for the Christmas letter season I have classified the four most annoying types of letters we seem to receive.

1. Braggy- if the words car, soccer goal, promotion, advanced level, or bright are mentioned in the letter, chances are it is a braggy letter
2. Schmaltzy- if the "non-writing" spouse adds a paragraph to the letter about how wonderful the "writing" spouse is then I call that schmaltzy. Typically when I read these I just want to respond, "get a room".
3. Cutsey- "written" by the dog or the toddler. As a caveat to the cutsey letters, some really are cute, others really are not. It is a fine line.
4. TMI- more than one page? Way too much information.

Don't get me wrong, I really do like to get these letters. But I do sometimes wonder at why people include what they include. Some of the kindest and humble people write very unkind and unhumble letters. And then mail these letters of not-much holiday cheer off sealed with a stamp of baby Jesus.

Annoying line in my letter today:
"We are so proud of our daughter, her teacher says she is performing on an advanced level in every area at school."

So, with this sentence I am left wondering a few things. Would this child's parents not be proud if she was performing, *gasp*, averagely? And what exactly is above average for a first grader and why is it important that all her parent's friends and family know this information? Should we too be proud, amazed or maybe jealous?

And this particular family is Christian, so of course there is the requisite line about God being good to them during the year. But once again I am left wondering was God good to them because their daughter is doing well in school and her husband got a raise? Seems a bit sad to imply that God wasn't good to those who have just average children and still make the same amount of money as last year.

So yes, I do have a love/hate relationship with Christmas letters. Except my own of course.

5 Good Ideas

Just putting this here, I read it someplace and thought I might like a copy to hold myself accountable. So far we are doing pretty well. Of course, it is pretty easy to work up a sweat here in Texas (see #1). It is currently in the mid-eighties here in November!

The research is telling us that if we want to improve attitudes, mental and physical health and academic performance, we as parents need to promote the following 5 things:

• Children need to play outside for at least an hour after the school day. They should be at the point where they are almost sweating.

• Dinner with your family every night or at least 4 times a week. This is shown to decrease eating disorders in females, decrease smoking and drug abuse rates in males and recent research suggests it teaches life-long good eating habits—more fruits and vegetables.

• Early to bed. Research suggests that children need 10-12 hours of sleep a day to be ready to learn.

• Limited television, video games and computer time, especially an hour before bed time.

• Reading time every evening. This is a great time for the whole family to sit and read together.

Early bird catches the worm

Is it true that one day the kids will be teenagers who don't want to get out of bed??? 'Cause I just can't picture that now.

Everyone was up and on our bed asking for books at 6:15 this morning. It is now only 9am and I feel like it should be at least lunch time, maybe dinner time!

Chemicals 'R Us

So with all the news stories recently about chemicals in everything from shampoo to kids clothing I thought I would list a few of the things we do to cut down on our chemical exposure.

I am NOT a scientist. I do not think I could explain exactly what these chemicals are doing to our bodies. However, I am of the general idea that if God didn't make it (and even sometimes when he does!) we probably should have less of it around us, not more. Besides some things God makes he did not intend for us to ingest.

So here a few of the easy things we do. Some even save us some money.

* Breastfeed, duh. Formula is one big chemical.

* Use homemade cleaners. Basically a little tea tree oil, water and/or vinager can clean anything. Seriously. I have a spray bottle of that mix in each bathroom and the kitchen. Baking soda is good for things that need scrubbing. Those are the only cleaners I use. I also wash my hair and the kiddos hair with baking soda.

* Cloth dipes and wipes. This is a big money saver and fun once you get into it. I just have little flannel clothes to use as wipes, and I have a sprayer to wet each one when I change a dipe. Keeps chemicals off my little man's sensitive areas.

* Less meat, more veggies. Organic is better, though I still have trouble paying the extra. Take time to plan healthy menus that use whole foods. Eating perfect is not my goal, but eating stuff that I can prounounce what is in the ingredient list is.

* Reduce plastic use. This is one that I need improvement on since I am still addicted to my tupperware and despite my war against plasitc toys they still are abundant in our playroom. And not sure how to get rid of sippies. I consider them a necessary evil if I don't want spilled drinks. But plasitic in the microwave is bad.

* My kids don't generally sleep in PJs. I am not advocating naked sleeping for the under 4 feet set, but flame retardant on PJs is nasty stuff. It can be avoided by sweatpants and t-shirts. And if on Christmas grandma sends cute PJs as a tradition, I honestly think that one night a year won't hurt them. Especially if they have been retardant free all year.

Beleive me, I could do a list of all the stuff I do that is still bad. Here are a few off the top of my head.

*I eat margerine, a total fake food. I melt it in the microwave (double whammy) and put it on air popped popcorn. Love it.

*I use makeup with all kinds of chemicals in it. One day I will try the mineral stuff, but not there yet.

* I enable my husband to serve my children nasty 99 cent Totinos pizza on the nights I am gone by buying them and keeping them in my freezer. I am most embarrassed by this one b/c I have to look at those things everytime I open my freezer. Yup, they sit there right next to the frozen veggies, homemade apple butter, and flax muffins.

To buy a child's affections

Super B took our daughter camping this weekend on a father/daughter trip, leaving me and boys to fend for ourselves. Which we of course managed quite nicely.

Friday night we went to the ice cream shop for dinner then we came home and had popcorn for dessert. Definitly not our normal menu, though we got blueberry ice cream so I am counting it as a fruit. The next morning I pushed together all the furniture in our den and made the world's largest tent fort. We spent most of the day playing and reading in there. Oh, and keeping the little guy from trying to crawl on the blanket roof. He just didn't get that it would not hold him up!

We did lunch at the pizza buffet in town and then hosted our babysitting co-op Saturday night. After the co-op kids left, my 4YO son and I snuggled in the fort and he fell asleep in there. He begged me to sleep in there with him but I guess there are some limits on my love. I was just not up for an all-nighter on the hardwood floor of my den with my legs poking out from under the sofa.

However, after all that revelry and buying my child's affection with unhealthy food, I think I have regained favorite parent status with my 4YO son. He is such a daddy's little guy, I have to take every chance I can to get his lovin'.

Our hot date

Last night Super B and I finally had a date night. So what did we do? Did we go to a nice restaurant with fancy table cloths and candlelight? Did I slip into something slinky and let my hubby take me dancing?

Naw. We went to a cheap Mexican joint and then to a natrual grocery store that I had been wanting to check out but hadn't since it is out of my little sphere of activity. Seriously I could have bought out the store. So much that I have been making myself I could be buying there (veggie broth comes to mind!). Too bad it is not closer because unless I have a reason to be in that area, I will never drive there just to shop. But I did get a few bulk items that I can't get at Walmart, some flax and nutritional yeast as well as some bulk whole wheat pancake mix and sea salt.

What I really wanted to buy though was all the snack food. Dried snap peas, wasabi, pumpkin seeds. Oh, and chocolate covered malt balls in bulk. Key word bulk! Not sure how those are natural, but I am willing to suspend common sense on that one.

So I guess we are just old geezers these days. I don't even know if I own a slinky dress anymore!

To conceive or not to conceive?

Super B and I have recently been having lot of talks regarding the possibility of adding another child to our family via birth or adoption. I consider myself a quiverfull wannbe, B less so. We have always grappled with issues of fertility a lot more than other couples since we both have fertility obstacles. For us, it it has never been a matter of sitting back and assuming God will bless us; conception must be more intentional on our part and therefore a matter of frequent prayer as to the hows, whys, whens and ifs.

This weekend my heart was really full of things to talk to God about in the area of babies and birthing. I consider myself QF in the sense that I am open to life and would rather not prevent pregnancy but allow God to bless us with another child if it is his Will. But to be honest that may have less to do with my faith in God than it does my personal desire for a large family and the blessings that come with it. Perhaps if I had a house full of kids and my womb was full more often or more easily, I would think differently. Hard to say since that is not my walk.

After much prayer over the weekend I feel God gave me some insights. I do not claim they are universal or even applicable to any one but me and my family, but I thought I would share.

First I looked at the role of family in the OT and NT.It seems clear that the Israelites and those living under the old covenant certainly were commanded to be fruitful and multiply. During that time God established the family to be his primary institution and the means for building and protecting his people. Quiverfull definitely was expected as a part of that.

In the NT however, Jesus replaces the primacy of the institution of family with the Church, ie. the Body of Christ. Not that he makes family unimportant by any stretch, but that it is beneath the relationship of individuals and the Church with God. Verse after verse show this secondary nature of family. There is the verse where Jesus talks about brothers being torn apart due to following him. In another story someone in the crowd says to Mary, the mother of Christ, that she is blessed to have born and nursed Jesus. Jesus replies that if she doesn't beleive than she may as well have been cursed. This shows another difference from the OT. Jesus explicitly is stating here that Mary's biological connection means nothing to the Kingdom which is in sharp contrast to the OT which stresses genealogy and ancestry,especially through the female's bloodline. Jesus also makes some other comments about serving the poor rather than unbelieving brothers. Basically, Jesus seems to be saying that doing Christ's work is more important than family.

I can't help but think then that some Christians, including married ones, are then called to do his work in ways other than raising children, thus NFP, or other non-chemical birth control, would be permissible. Christ even says such in the beginning of his ministry when he states that it is better to be a eunuch (castrated male thus childless) who follows Christ, than anyone else that doesn't follow Christ. What I don't see him saying is that Christian couples should prevent pregnancy b/c more children might interfer with the lifestyle we desire, our acumulation of wealth, or that each child should be born into a home big enough so everyone gets there own bedroom and college tuition account.

I don't really think that answers one way or the other about individual families having children or how many, but I think it does mean that having children is secondary to a Christian's duty to serve the Church. It also means that our material concerns should be secondary to having children and raising them for the Lord. A Christian doing his duty will definitely mean something different for everyone since our spiritual gifts lie in different areas. But I would think that if the amount of kids you have, or if any special needs a child may have or incur, interfere with using your gifts to serve the Body of Christ, then it would be perfectly Godly to not have more children until such a time when an additional child would not keep you from serving as God calls.

However, I think I do believe that in the absence of such an interference to God's calling, a couple should remain open to life. (an example might be if a couple cannot feed their children and tithe then perhaps they should wait until they can fufill their duty of tithing to have more children) The NT certainly does not negate all the positive language found in the OT concerning the importance of children nor does it change the truth that children are a blessing from the Lord. God may call a couple to a quiverfull/large family lifestyle as their way to serve, however I now can't see QF itself as a universal thing for every Christian couple. It will not be everyone's spiritual gift.

So as I do think that Christians should be open to life unless being called to do other ministry that would preclude more children, I guess what Super B and I have to do is figure out if we are being called somewhere that precludes adding a child to our family. I am not entirely convinced that we really have a handle on where we are being called so mayby that is why this issue really stumps us.

And as for the pregnacy vs. adoption thing, still no clue. I guess I need a few more weekends of praying to get that one all sorted out! And who knows, maybe in the mean time God will surprise is with a little something...

Been a while...

It is has been quite a while since I last wrote. In that time we have gone to a funeral, gone to Disney World, returned that horrible rental car, and started school. I guess we have all started school really. B is back in school to get his CPA, for what reason we are not sure, but he feels led in that direction. I am teaching preschool again, and of course the kiddos started their respective educational endeavors. I hasten to add that some of the kids' endeavors may be more educational than others...

I also feel rather busy for someone who claims to seek "Life in the Slow Lane" as a motto. The older kids are doing both Choir and Awannas. Then Bean is doing soccer and Girl Scouts. I should say all three kids are doing Girl Scouts since I am the leader, Bean is the Scout and the two boys are the mascots. They do everything with the troop so really that is a family affair as well. Then my mommy thing this year is MOPS. I am a table leader and that is just pure cotton candy. I love the meetings, I love being a table leader and meeting new people. I love the food at the meetings. Ok, I admit I love MOPS because I love the food.

I am hoping that once all the organizational meetings end, life will seem slower. It is my goal to have our afternoons/weekends be family time and to not sign up for too many activies that divide brothers from sister and mom/dad from the kiddos. Though with Dad bringing home the bacon and I can't really expect him to be home in the afternoons with us too!

I don't want to do the whole taking your child to a million activities all week. Seems like time that would often be better spent doing stuff with the kiddos, rather than paying someone else to entertain them. Not to mention a poor use of gas. :) I think that is one of the things I like about the Awannas program. Yes, the kiddos leave our orbit for a while, but then we get to work on our verse all week. So it actually adds family time into our week rather than just stealing from it.

That is also why I stopped blogging for a bit. I needed to spend less time on the computer for a bit to start the year out on the right foot. So, hopefully now I can finally write my commentary on cupholders and a few new subjects that I have been bantering about in my head!

Ground Control, can you hear me?

Part I

Let me preface this post my saying that I am not a fan of SUVs, especially for people that don't need them because of the horrible gas milage and because they are so big that short folk like me can't see as well when driving because they block my view.

One of my biggest pet peeves is a large SUV or truck with a yellow "Support Our Troops" ribbon style bumpersticker. What an oxymoron. If generic-you were not buying some big 'ole gas guzzler then the troops would not have to be over there. Support them by buying a more practical car and reducing our dependence on oil, not with a cutsie ribbon.

So part II...

I was in a car accident last week that necesitates having my car in the shop for a few weeks. The lady who hit me has very good insurance and I am being treated quite well. They asked what type of rental car would suit my needs to which I replied that my only need was that the car can fit 4 car seats.

So today I went and picked up my rental...a full size war tank, I mean an Expedition.

My official stance is obviously boo hiss on the humungo vehicle. I don't want to pay for the gas and it will ruin my environmentally friendly rep if I am caught driving it. :) I am not into cars and just want the cheapest thing that gets me where I am going so this souped up, jacked up monstrosity of a car that won't even fit in my garage is really NOT me. And yes, the short person thing again, it is just plain difficult to get into when one is only 5 ft 2 inches.

But....the unofficial stance is that I feel like an astronaut when I drive it! Which is pretty darn cool.

So here's to car wrecks that don't hurt anyone, and are not my fault so that I can drive a mile in someone else's shoes for a change!

Regular Day

My MOPs retreat was really great, but man, I am OLD! I stayed up chatting until about 3AM and seriously I have been dying the last few days b/c I am still tired. Back in the day I did that all the time and thought nothing of it. Hubby asked me if I really wanted to be a doula since I would have to be up all night sometimes. I don't think he appreciated me lolling around on the sofa when I got back!

I have a lot to do to get ready for our beach trip. I have sevaral pounds of zuccini in my fridge that I need to grate and freeze or they will go bad and tons of other produce I need to do something with. Eat maybe!!!

Heading to the pool though when W wakes up. I promised the kids I would "really" get in today so they are giddy with excitment. They think it is so cool when I get my hair fully wet. Goofballs!

yummy- good whole foods recipe

Made the best meal tonight with some of my fresh butternut squash!

a bit of olive oil
1 small onion
chopped 2 or 3 carrots
chopped 2 potatoes
cubed 1 medium butternut squash - peeled and cubed
32 ozs of broth

Browned the veggies and then simmered in the broth for an hour. Purreed in the blender and poured over tortillini. So yummy! Also would be good without putting in blender and just with the chunks of veggies over brown rice or any type of pasta. W loved it, the other kids were not keen. But hey, what's new?

You wanna know what chaps my hide?

Preachers that have highlighted hair, capped and whitened teetch and a fake tan. Than taking a glamor shots style photo and putting it on all the church literature.

Seriously, if a preacher needs to look that nice to invite people to his church, then what is the point of going???

What makes me say this...well I live within a few miles of a large megachurch here in the metroplex. Yesterday I got a doorknob flyer inviting my kids to their VBS. On one side of the flyer is the VBS info, the other side is a pic of Mr. Pretty Preacher and his bio. Ummmm, shouldn't the bio be about Jesus? Isn't that what the chuch is about?

And really, if you need a personal sylist before you can preach, I am thinking you are not really an authentic person. Call me odd, but I like authenticity when someone talks about their relationship with Christ.

I have been reading Perfect Madness, Motherhood in the Age Of Anxiety and I would like to make some comments on the book.

The book makes some good observations about women and motherhood in terms of observing that moms are often perfectionist and competitive in their parenting. I know I see this all the time. Birthday parties are planned like it was the Pope coming over, and that expenive too. I have friends that literally plan birthday parties in the same manner as planning a large wedding. I hope they do it b/c they love that sort of thing, but most of them complain constantly about all the stress in their lives so I do wonder. And usually the parties are at someplace that does most of the work anyway, but my friends are running around sampling cakes...for 2 and 3 year olds!

Even in the AP/crunchy world there is competition about who is more natural etc. ( I think that is one reason I don't like to post much at MDC.)

And so for moms to try to outdo each other (or just keep up!) in terms of parties, scrapbooking, clothes etc for their kids, they need to put the kids in preschool for hours to keep up with all those errands. Not knocking preschool, but I do think it is over used here in the affluent suburbs. Women want a "break" and that is understandable. But what I see as the issue is that in our society the only "break" seems to be getting rid of the kiddos. I wish women could learn to get their break without always having to seperate from the kids.

For example, I do MOPs, which I LOVE. But to go I put my kids in childcare there. I go to church, also put my kids in childcare. I go to ECPTA and also put my kids in childcare. I enjoy all these activities, but what I would really like is some activities where adults and children are at the same place but both are getting needs meet. Does that make sense? I picture in a smaller/older society the women getting together and cooking or quilting. The kids would be playing together and running in to the adults as needed. Mom gets social needs meet as well as practical work done, all without seperating from her children.

To bring all those commments back to the book ...I see the phenomemom that she describes as being caused by not integrating children/families into society, thus putting women in a spot where they are isolated and feel like they have to prove themselves to everyone. If moms are home with kids they are alone, if they are out then the kids are someplace else. That just is not the way it should be. The hemisphere of home and everywhere else should be meshed, not seperate.The whole premise she has that crazy motherhood (including Andrea Yates she claims) is brought about by attachment parenting is absurd. Most moms have never even heard of AP!

And I can tell you when I am out and about I rarely see any other babywearers, so the idea that middle class white Americans are being tortured slowly with slings and baby carriers is absurd. American is not being brought down b/c we are too attached to our little ones.

The monsoon continues

Let me just pull of my rubber boots and monsoon gear to try to post in my blog. Honestly, I am thinking about seeing if my house can be converted to a foundation of stilts so we don't all drown.

Rained all weekend. Raining today. I wannnnnna goooo to the pool. Summer is not fun when you are stuck inside with torrential rains for two weeks on end. And you live in Texas so you don't expect rain period. End of whine.

Weekend was not bad though. I took the older kiddos to see a play at the Dallas Children's Theatre (Pinkerton). They really seemed to enjoy it, even R sat still and watched. He rarely sits still so that was huge in and of itself. Church was a little crazy. Bean pitched a fit about picking out a dress and R was throwing blocks in SS. But Super B took everyone to the library in the afternoon and let me read for a while. (more on that to come, I have LOTS of comments on the book I am reading, Perfect Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Anxiety)

A Few Days in the Life...

Monday...The weekend was great. Except poor W touched the lawn mower's muffler and got a 2nd degree burn on the pad of his thumb. He was so sad, but I think it will be fine. He has not fussed about it since about an hour after it happened. Thank goodness he is not a thumb sucker! He would be out of luck. And as my hubby says, he can lead a life of crime now since he burnt his fingerprint off.

The older kids had swim lessons this morning. They have been so excited. I call it Mormon swimschool and the kids have picked up on that. (I need to break us both of that habit before they say it in front of their teachers. Though, I am not sure if they would be insulted or not.) It is in the backyard pool of a lovely LDS family. They have 8 children and most of them teach swimming in the summer. Most of thier students are also kids from the local LDS church so I usually feel like the only non-Mormon. But I love hanging out there during lessons with all the big families. Except that it makes me covet all the children. I would love to have 8 kids.Anyway, the lessons are great, one on one and the kids learn a lot. Bean was learning the butterfly stroke today. Heck, I can't do a butterfly stroke, though I can't say I feel like I am missing out by not being able to do so.

Thinking about taking the kiddos swimming again when W wakes up. We'll see if I can gather the energy...
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It started to rain again so no pool for us!

So instead of swimming, I shaved R's head into a mohawk. I made it pointy at the back end and now he is telling people he has a knife on his head and trying to poke people. He is such a BOY!!!
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Final thought for the day:
Sweet vision of my crazy man. He feel asleep tonight on our bed in his camo shirt, tough boy mohawk (which he now thinks makes him look like a dragon), but snuggling with a small stuffed animal.

He may be tough on the outside but he is the sweetest guy full of love.

Donuts for Breakfast???

The weekend! Woo Hoo!Just giving W his morning milk, then it is off to do our weekend plans. Exciting stuff like doing our grocery shopping and mowing the lawn. B and I are going on a date tonight to celebrate our anniversary that was, oh, 3 weeks ago. We will drop the kids off with some friends in our babysitting co-op and then probably go get something to eat and find a place to go for a nice walk. We try to do that once a month or so depending on who is hosting co-op.Our church is doing some cool stuff this week. Instead of going to SS we are having an all church breakfast. I am wondering what they will serve, anything but donuts would be good. Breakfast burritos would be great...but if it is donuts I will be sad (and hungry ) Then afterwards there is going to be a family worship service.And it gets better. The church has rented out a local family swim/water center. We will get to go swim, do the water slides and lazy river. It is only our church there, and we have a fairly small church so no lines and lots of friends there. We all are looking forward to it.W is taking his time nursing this morning, singing and cooing while eating. So cute. But I am ready to go downstairs and eat a pancake that B and the kids just made. I have some apple butter I just made calling my name too...

Arn't They Too Young for This?

I am babysitting two boys today and I just heard a funny conversation between my 6 YO daughter and the 6YO boy I am watching:

Her- "do you want to come play in the yard with me?"
Him- "no"
Her- "do you want to play?"
Him- "no, I am tired, I want to lay on the couch"
Her- "do you want to sleep with me?"
Him- "sure!"

Made me laugh anyway.
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I suspect if I keep a true journal of my life, I will talk about food a lot. I like to eat and I spend half my time thinking about my next meal or next snack. I have so many friends that don't cook. How can you not cook??? I was in a playgroup once with a woman who ate canned veggies everyday for lunch and she and her family ate at a local Mexican restaurant EVERY night and had for several years. Now don't get me wrong, I love Mexican, but the same place everynight? Not to mention the waste of money. How hard is it to pour some beans in a crock then slap them on a tortilla with some melted cheese?

Tired Yet???

I am going to take the plunge and give blogging a whirl. There are many good blogs/journals out there, but there are tons of really boring ones too. So if my blog turns out to be boring (and there is a good chance it will given that my life not one of great excitement) then I will stop writing it. I would love to have something to record my days, but even I don't want to fall asleep whilst reviewing my life.

So, time stamp to get started:I am a SAHM in her mid-30's to 3 kiddos, ages 6,4 and 16 months. I am happily married and have been for 11 plus years.